Okay, who cares, who cares, some things happened on Zoo. Some moles imploded a 40-story building in Canada. There was an alligator in a tunnel. Someone made some poison. Doesn’t matter. I mean, it would barely matter in a standard episode of Zoo that didn’t feature one of my favorite moments in the history of television. But this episode of Zoo did feature one of my favorite moments in the history of television, so again, who cares? The whole thing ended on a cliffhanger in which my beloved flamethrower-wielding French spy might have died in a cocktail dress while trying to liberate a sloth, and I wouldn’t have cared about that either if it didn’t directly tie-in to this GIF, which is the aforementioned great moment in television history.
Ready? Here we go.
That, to be clear, if you want context, and it is fine if you don’t, is Bob Benson from Mad Men slapping a four-star general in the face and shouting “Where’s the sloth?!” He slapped a four-star general and shouted “Where’s the sloth?!” It was in the script and everything!
SLAP
“Where’s the sloth?!”
I bet you never thought you’d get to see Bob Benson from Mad Men slap a four-star general and then shout “Where’s the sloth?!” Even if you dreamed up the whole scenario in some sort of meat-induced hallucination after a dinner at a Brazilian steakhouse, I bet you still thought there was no way it could ever become a reality.
I mean, maybe separately. Maybe. Bob Benson from Mad Men slapping a four-star general could happen in some sort of war movie situation, like if there was a mutiny on a submarine and he was the one leading the crew against a traitorous commander. It’s been a while since we had a good submarine mutiny movie. So that’s a possibility. Bob Benson from Mad Men shouting “Where’s the sloth?!,” though? Eh, less likely. Still possible, though, I guess, like if he went on Conan with an animal expert and there was one sloth unaccounted for at the end of the segment. But together? At once? What are the odds? It’s practically a miracle.
Oh. Oh! And I didn’t even tell you the best part. Guess why Bob Benson slapped a four-star general and shouted “Where’s the sloth?!” Guess! Because the sloth — one sloth, by itself — had just used the vibrations of its tiny body to cause an earthquake in Costa Rica! So now Bob and his team were trying to steal it to do research on it. Sloth heist! It was an earthquake sloth heist!
This is my favorite thing that has happened on television since the time Judith Light did cocaine at the rodeo on Dallas.
