If Herschel Walker’s brain-breaking dialogue about werewolves and vampires (both of which he clearly believes are real, by the way) had you convinced the former football player might have delivered the most nonsensical political speech of the 2022 “erection” season — if not the history of the world — hold on to your get-well cards, people. Because the senatorial hopeful just gifted us with another inane word salad.
On Tuesday, PatriotTakes posted a video of a hyped-up Walker either advocating for a border wall, explaining why walls don’t work, or offering up his dog — who may or may not be a good boy — as border security while relaying a story about someone asking him about border security. Yes, it’s all as muddled and confusing as that sentence makes it sound.
Clear your head, pop a Xanax, and listen for yourself below.
Herschel Walker destroyed his argument for a border wall:
“A wall do work. …when you got a wall around your house people don’t— yeah, but they can get in. But, you know what, if they get in, it would be hard to get out because I got a dog that— well, my dog really won’t bite.” pic.twitter.com/Mfr4Cpe39O
— PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 (@patriottakes) November 30, 2022
Of course, it didn’t take long for others to wonder what in the f**k Walker was talking about (and for at least one person to pay tribute to Walker with a poem):
Georgia, please get out and vote for Senator Warnock. PLEASE. https://t.co/dYL2QMvmSV
— April (@ReignOfApril@mastodon.online) (@ReignOfApril) November 30, 2022
The lights are definitely on, but nobody’s home. https://t.co/wakX1aAjtn
— Immortal Technique (@ImmortalTech) November 30, 2022
I thought this quote had to be off. Nope. https://t.co/XOZbh2a9Bn
— Fred Giuffrida 💙🌊🇺🇸✌🏼 (@FredGiuffrida) November 30, 2022
Good Lord. I hate the GOP for putting this man up to run. Everyone is laughing at him. Including them. https://t.co/VrLNkQ8HQE
— Shauna (@shauna1187) November 30, 2022
Even Herschel knows a stupid wall won’t stop immigration. But don’t ask him about climate change! https://t.co/HCQRLE1eBh
— Grant Stern is boosted! (@grantstern) November 30, 2022
We needed a runoff for this https://t.co/V81M9QL2tX
— Mike 🇺🇸 ⚽️ (@MikeSanchize) November 30, 2022
He's so profoundly stupid (or CTE-damaged), I kinda want him to keep campaigning even after he loses to Warnock. But that's a mean thought. https://t.co/KBudmrREqV
— Randi Mayem Singer (@rmayemsinger) November 30, 2022
The saddest part of this entire video is that Herschel makes absolutely zero sense but the people are actually cheering https://t.co/HGyx4kN4Bm
— Lance Mann (@lancemann) November 30, 2022
My wall don’t work
My dog don’t bite
My werewolf left me
The other night
I can’t beat a vampire
In a fight
Guess I just might
Catch the goooood air to China
— Courier Fontella Bass (@DonGone5) November 30, 2022
Speaking of Herschel Walker and dogs, never forget that he lied when he said his opponent was lying about having a dog. Raphael Warnock does, in fact, have a dog.