Steve Bannon Is Now Convinced John Fetterman Is A ‘Cyborg’ Whose Closed Captioning System ‘Helps His Brain Think’

The residue that has likely accumulated from Steve Bannon’s lack of bathing and several layers of shirts may be finally seeping into his brain, like Rudy Giuliani’s hair goo. Despite being recently sentenced to four months in prison for failing to comply with a subpoena to appear before the January 6th committee, Bannon — the former chief strategist to Donald Trump — is still shouting his bizarre political takes and conspiracy theories from anyplace that will let him. And, as Mediaite reports, his latest accusation is a real head-scratcher: Bannon is convinced that John Fetterman, lieutenant governor of Pennsylvania and Democratic nominee for U.S. senator, is a cyborg!

On Monday, a clip began making the rounds on Twitter of Bannon appearing as a guest on Diamond and Silk Chit Chat Live, a program on Mike Lindell TV (yes, it pains us to type all of those words), where talked turned to the heated senatorial race in Pennsylvania between Fetterman and New Jersey’s finest TV quack Dr. Mehmet Oz. And Bannon shared his honest (and honestly bizarre) thoughts on the upcoming midterms and why he thinks people should fear Fetterman:

What you see in Fetterman, and why Fetterman is so dangerous — and Fetterman as a concept is dangerous — is… he had a stroke. Now, could he have taken care of himself better? Let’s just leave that aside. He can’t help the fact that he had a stroke. But what we know, and the doctor said last night on CNN, he had a major stroke. In fact, Fetterman’s admitted that. He won’t release his medical records. But what you saw the other night is… he has a machine in front of him. It’s not a closed caption, like you would watch TV and want it to be quiet while you were working on something else and wanted it to be quiet. No, this is a machine that actually helps his brain think through. Without the machine, he can’t understand human conversations. He can’t engage with people. So we actually had what we call a ‘cyborg.’ You actually had man-machine merger on that stage the other night.

Somebody call Cyberdyne Systems! Or James Cameron. If this whole senator thing doesn’t work out, Fetterman could be in line to

(Via Mediaite)