Oh, internet. Just when I’m convinced you can’t possibly provide an answer to every need imaginable someone on Etsy starts a twelve dollar Cagification photoshop service and I’m reminded to never again doubt your power. From Etsy artist JazzberryBlue him or herself:
Have you ever wanted to look like Nicolas Cage..?
don’t be ashamed, i understand…
as a species, our priorities are right out of line… right out of the ballpark… but im not here to judge you.send me any photo via the contact button and i will turn you into Nic Cage within 2 hours. Neither you nor Mr Cage will be harmed in the process… you will receive the final JPEG in your inbox.
That’s a speedy turnaround. And I’m happy to hear neither of us will suffer physical and emotional harm in the process. But what could possibly be your motivation, JazzberryBlue?
i dont want to do this, nor will i gain any personal satisfaction… im not some twisted nic cage fan, i dont even watch movies and i cant explain why he haunts my dreams…. i am doing this because i need 12$
And because I really love your writeup and want to block quote it all, please sell me just a bit harder…
great pic for your facebook profile, gain the respect you deserve… special pricing for group photos
But what if I already bear such a striking resemblance to Mr. Cage I’m regularly the subject of personalized Face/Off jokes?
if you already look like Nic, i can make you look less like him for only 6$
Good to know. Before I sign the dotted line, anything you want to upsell me on?
ADDITIONAL FEATURES:
Devilish Eyes…………………….0.99 cents
Battle Wound…………………….0.99 cents
Herpes………………………………0.99 cents
Flying Squirrel…………………..0.99 cents
Ominous Black Cat……………0.99 cents
Christian Slater………………….0.99 cents
That’s more like it. So my total should come to $13.98 (Battle Wound + Ominous Black Cat if everyone must know). Unless there’s a discount for shirtless and well groomed, of course.
Etsy via Paul Scheer