Spiders. We all know the arachnids are an important and integral part of our ecosystem, but counterpoint: do they have to be so creepy and gross and awful? It can’t be a coincidence that everyone hates them, to the extent that they can make fully grown-ass men lose their cool like nothing else.
One such “fully grown-ass man,” Chris Tarantino, a digital communications specialist who focuses on emergency situations from Rochester, New York, was on a business trip in Florida when he noticed that a spider egg had burst open in his Hertz rental, releasing a virtual “tornado” of baby spiders throughout the car. Apparently the whole thing started when Tarantino returned to his car after lunch and a walk in downtown Fort Myers. He had just reached into the backseat of his car to get something out of his backpack when he first noticed something was off.
“It wasn’t until I looked a few times that I realized the gravity of the situation. I’m just glad they didn’t decide to hatch while I was driving, or else I’d be dead,” he later told the Fort Meyers News-Press.
Like a good digital communications specialist who found himself in the face of his own crisis, Tarantino live-tweeted his ordeal, hoping that someone from Hertz would take notice of his predicament.
OHHHHH MY GOD a spider laid eggs in my @Hertz rental. #nightmarefuel
— Christopher Tarantino (@Tarantino4me) May 31, 2016
At first I was in disbelief…. You know how the sun can distort your vision? I thought it was that. And then one crawled up my arm….
— Christopher Tarantino (@Tarantino4me) May 31, 2016
And it just got worse from there…
There are thousands. So many baby spiders asbfjsbsnsvansbjs @Hertz is hopefully coming to rescue me.
— Christopher Tarantino (@Tarantino4me) May 31, 2016
Eventually, Chris turned to some “liquid therapy” while he waited for the situation to be resolved.
Waiting out #spiderpocalypse2016…. – Drinking a Fancy Lawnmower by @saintarnold @ The Lodge — https://t.co/VZ5aFZotSk
— Christopher Tarantino (@Tarantino4me) May 31, 2016
Think @Hertz will cover my #spiderpocalypse2016 beers? It's been over an hour & the spiders have taken over the car pic.twitter.com/OvmMnaljUI
— Christopher Tarantino (@Tarantino4me) May 31, 2016
At some point, the internet stepped in to “actually” his use of the term spider tornado, although to be fair, “spider haboob” sounds way less terrifying.
My weather friends are critical of my use of the term "spider tornado" in this article… https://t.co/5VZDVYnbA8
— Christopher Tarantino (@Tarantino4me) June 1, 2016
Suggest "spider derecho" or "spider haboob"…. but what do those weather weenies know about #spiderpocalypse2016?
— Christopher Tarantino (@Tarantino4me) June 1, 2016
But if there’s one thing to really take away from the poor guy’s nightmare, it’s that it was a lesson in preparedness!
Many preparedness lessons in the #spiderpocalypse2016 story -all my stuff was neat, I had extra phone chargers, a safe place to evac. to
— Christopher Tarantino (@Tarantino4me) June 1, 2016
I stayed calm, knew who/how to call for help (thanks @Hertz), and was ready to change tactics at a moment's notice! #spiderpocalypse2016
— Christopher Tarantino (@Tarantino4me) June 1, 2016
And in the end, Hertz really did come through for their customer. Hopefully they comped him those beers, too.
Just got off the phone w @Hertz – there's a reason why they're my go-to choice. Good example of #crisiscomms & PR! #spiderpocalypse2016
— Christopher Tarantino (@Tarantino4me) June 1, 2016
Also heard they "took care of" the spiders. #spiderpocalypse2016 pic.twitter.com/B4WtJdP1hQ
— Christopher Tarantino (@Tarantino4me) June 1, 2016
Usually in these types of situations, we say “pics or it didn’t happen,” but in this case we’ll just take his word for it.
(via USA Today)