“How about LeBron James? Twenty-seven points, eight rebounds, eight assists. Another average game for LeBron James.” That was an actual statement made on Miami’s broadcast. James would go on to finish with 31 points in the Heat’s five-point win over the Bobcats, but we cracked up laughing upon hearing that comment. Dude is so good that we’re talking like 27/8/8 is a regular night. In truth, this one really wasn’t average for the King. He shot 13-for-14 from the field for the highest single game field goal percentage of his career (with at least 10 attempts). Look at this shot chart. He shouldn’t even be able to do that in a video game … A 12-2 Charlotte run put them up by one midway through the final quarter, but Miami responded with eight straight points as Chris Bosh (23 points) started dunking everything and ‘Bron in the lane looked like Boldin overpowering cornerbacks. From there, Charlotte’s fate was sealed in the last minute when Byron Mullens got a rebound, and then let Dwyane Wade (20 points, 12 rebounds) take it right out of his hands, almost like he handed it to him … Chris Paul should be awarded the MVP just based off what happens when he doesn’t play. With CP3, the Clippers look like the best team in the West. Without him, they’re looking worse off than Michelle Williams, who looked like she hadn’t eaten a full meal in five years before the Super Bowl. They lost again last night, 98-90 to the Wizards, as the immortal Martell Webster lit them up for 21. L.A.’s lone bright spot was Jamal Crawford, who came off the bench to collect 28 points. In the second quarter, Crawford was absolutely cutting the Wizards up off the high pick-n-roll. He had a run where he scored three straight times with jumpers, and then drew a foul on the fourth trip. Washington’s bigs had this look on their face that screamed, “No way am I coming out to mess with that.” … New York wiped the floor with the Pistons, 99-85. Amar’e Stoudemire went for 20 off the pine, and Tyson Chandler reached into his beard and pulled out his third-straight game with at least 20 boards. If Chandler somehow ended up in a trade scenario with Dwight Howard, would you do it? You’d have to consider it, right? The Team USA coaches supposedly prefer Chandler. It’s shocking that this is even somewhat of a question right now … And Allen Iverson is in trouble again for reportedly having a drinking problem. A judge presiding over Iverson’s divorce proceedings described him as an unfit parent with severe alcohol issues. Forget getting back into the NBA, we hope AI finds the helps he needs, or at least gets his life back together off the court … Keep reading to hear why DeMarcus Cousins got ejected again …
With the NFL turning into glorified flag football, Indiana’s 111-101 win over Chicago would’ve fit right in on the gridiron. They’re two of the most rugged teams in the league, and between Joakim Noah, David West, Taj Gibson, Jimmy Butler, Tyler Hansbrough, and everyone else not named Carlos Boozer or Roy Hibbert, they could probably take the Chiefs or Jets (if they meet in the playoffs, what are the odds Lance and Nate get into a scuffle?). Last night, Chicago saw its 41-game winning streak when it scores at least 100 points end at the Pacers’ hands, who’ve now won 14 straight at home. West had 29 points and nine boards, and Paul George had 21 points and 11 boards while being compared to Reggie Miller after his back-breaking triple in the fourth. George also caught this ill reverse alley-oop and threw a between-the-legs pass on the break. Seriously, how good is this cat? … It’s always funny counting all of Lance Stephenson’s unnecessary dribbles. Sometimes it works, like in the second quarter when his crossover slid Daequan Cook right out of his uniform and he made a J. Most of the time, it just leaves Frank Vogel with a headache … In the fourth quarter of Portland’s two-point win over the Wolves, you saw the double-edged sword that is Ricky Rubio. The Spanish magician played his best game of the year, finishing with 15 points and 14 assists, and he energized the whole arena in the fouth quarter with his playmaking. He got Dante Cunningham (23 points) enough dunks to last him a month. But then with a chance to tie in the final seconds, Rubio dribbled around in a circle, couldn’t find anyone to pass to, and had to throw up some junk that got snuffed by LaMarcus Aldridge (25 points, 13 boards) … Aldridge missed both freebies after that, even with the broadcast guys basically guaranteeing he’d miss at least one, but Cunningham’s jumper at the buzzer was well short … Utah beat Sacramento in overtime, 98-91, as they got 20 points from Randy Foye. The Kings rocked their old ’90s retro uniforms – you know the ones… they look like NASCAR decals. It’s too bad those will always be the uniforms we remember Mitch Richmond in. If you wore those trashy things, they inevitably started rubbing off on you … If we told you someone got ejected at halftime of the Jazz/Kings game for obnoxious arguing with the zebras, how long would it take you to guess DeMarcus Cousins? Four seconds? Two? One? It happened last night. Cousins wouldn’t leave the refs alone, and you could almost see Isaiah Thomas as he was pushing his center away like “C’mon dude. Again?” During the Super Bowl halftime show, they muted Michelle’s mic for parts of the performance (sorry, she’s getting dissed twice in today’s Smack). The Kings need to do that with Cousins … In other storylines from last night: Spencer Hawes (21 points, 14 rebounds) and Philly won easily, 78-61. We think they beat the Magic, but we’re not quite sure. Pretty much their entire team didn’t play; and Russell Westbrook had 24 as OKC murdered the Mavs, 112-91 … We’re out like DMC.
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