At the rate we’re going, Dwayne Johnson’s Fast 8 promo images are going to get so ridiculous by the time the film races into theaters on April 14, 2017, Hobbs will be breaking out of his arm cast on the moon while fighting armies of alien babes. Let’s start with the latest image (above), which Johnson shared on Sunday. It features his character presumably beating the crap out of his fellow inmates in hilarious fashion. In fact, let’s hope this is just the tip of the jet-powered iceberg, and Hobbs beats everyone up to the point that they’re flying around like circus acrobats.
That hope might actually be an understatement. Here is Johnson, on the set of Fast 8 one week ago, cutting one of his all-time greatest promos in describing the scene with all of the actors and stuntmen playing the inmates and guards. Make sure your volume isn’t all the way up.
We should all aspire to be that fired up about something just once in our pointless lives. As for why Hobbs is in prison, we don’t yet know the answer to that, but we can assume that it’s something that makes very little sense, otherwise it wouldn’t be good enough for this franchise. Regardless, Hobbs is now in prison orange, as Johnson previously shared…
And he will clearly escape after beating up all of the inmates and tossing them around like ragdolls, because that’s simply the story that made the most sense for Hobbs on his personal journey:
Then he will destroy cars and property in the name of stopping the bad guy, played by Charlize Theron, because even though he is an escaped convict, he is still a good guy who can beat everyone up.
He will still rock the Under Armour and carry an absurdly large gun around, because, again, as he has pointed out: “The Iceman cometh. And I don’t f*cketh around.”
Oh, and don’t worry, because they managed to find Johnson an even larger and more spectacular vehicle to drive than he has ever had.
At this point, we should expect that in Fast 9, Hobbs will be crushed by a tank, but his soul will inhabit the tank, and The Rock will simply play a talking tank. It is his Fast destiny.
