WrestleMania is this Sunday, and while WWE has done the best they could with what they have available, the card has been significantly hurt (no pun intended) by the fact that, like, half the roster is currently out with injuries.
If you go back to last year’s version of WrestleMania, it’s jarring to see how many important people from that show aren’t going to be around this year. In fact, every single person who walked out of WrestleMania 31 with a championship is out of action because of an injury at this year’s show, and that doesn’t include two other top stars who were involved in main event-level matches. WrestleMania 31 is officially cursed.
While it’s incredibly sad that all of those top stars will be out of action this year, it’s also fun to think of what might have been. So, here is my attempt to build at least part of a WrestleMania card featuring only WWE superstars and divas who are currently injured.
John Cena vs. Seth Rollins
This one is a gimme, right? These two feuded in the summer over both the WWE World Heavyweight and United States Championships, and it would be nice to see them have a world title match at a pay-per-view match that wasn’t decided by a famous comedian.
Rollins was having one of the best years of anyone in recent memory before he went down with a knee injury in November, and he probably would have been in the main event of this year’s show had he been healthy.
Cena, on the other hand, was rumored to be facing none other than The Undertaker before he went down earlier this year, and even his super-human healing powers haven’t kicked in quickly enough for him to return for WrestleMania 32.
Bray Wyatt vs. Sting
There’s an important distinction between “retired” and “injured,” which is why you won’t be seeing Daniel Bryan anywhere on here. While there were originally reports that the Stinger was hanging it up after his most recent injury in a match with Seth Rollins in September, he has come out and denied those reports, which means he’s still eligible for the card of sadness.
His opponent? The Eater of Worlds himself, who has fallen into the abyss in recent months, but still probably would have had some role on this year’s card had he not suffered an injury just a few weeks ago.
Considering WWE’s habit of having Bray Wyatt feud with every important person on the show only to lose to them, this is a match I could totally see happening should Sting ever be healthy enough to compete again.
Randy Orton vs. Cesaro
Randy Orton is one of those guys who you kind of take for granted in WWE, mostly because he’s been around forever.
Now that he is gone, though, the hole he has left on the show is extremely noticeable. Orton is a guy you could have plugged in anywhere on this year’s card and he would have made that match feel more important. The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, The Intercontinental Ladder Match, heck, even the WWE World Heavyweight Championship match all would have benefited from Orton’s involvement.
His opponent for this hypothetical card is the Swiss Superman himself, who looked like he was finally starting to break through the glass ceiling before he hurt his shoulder in November because everything is terrible.
These two have had great matches in the past, and it’s an opportunity on a big stage that someone like Cesaro could have really benefited from having. We can only hope that when Cesaro comes back, he goes back to where he left off when he got hurt and doesn’t have to start from the bottom again and fight through another yodeling gimmick.
Titus O’Neil vs. Luke Harper
HOSS FIGHT!!
Okay, okay, so Titus O’Neil isn’t actually injured, but he’s still missing WrestleMania for an extremely dumb reason, so it counts.
Meanwhile, Luke Harper just got hurt this Monday with a possible torn ACL because the Wrestling Gods (non-JBL version) wanted to officially put an end to the Wyatt Family by injuring their most talented asset, I guess.
This match would be pretty fun because it would just be two massive dudes whaling on each other. Titus never really got a legitimate opportunity to explore a singles run, and Luke Harper’s IC title reign was criminally short. I would be much more amped for this hypothetical U.S. title match than the Ryback-Kalisto match that we’re getting.
Neville vs. Tyson Kidd vs. Hideo Itami
Yeah, this would be awesome.
Hideo Itami has been out injured forever, and could have easily been getting ready to get called up to the main roster by now had he been healthy this whole time.
Meanwhile, Neville was a shoe-in for his first WrestleMania appearance in the IC title ladder match before he suffered a terrible lower-body injury on Raw earlier this month, and Tyson Kidd is too often forgotten about since he gruesomely hurt his neck taking a muscle buster from Samoa Joe back in June.
Neville and Kidd already had a series of great NXT Championship matches back in 2014, and adding Itami into the mix would only make it better.
Dana Brooke vs. Nikki Bella
Okay, so maybe this card isn’t perfect.
Nikki Bella just finished up her reign as the longest reigning Divas Champion of all time before she was forced to get neck surgery in January. Meanwhile, NXT’s Dana Brooke is the only eligible diva (other than Rosa Mendes who is on maternity leave) who could have fought her in this scenario as she has been battling through injuries since facing Asuka at NXT Takeover: Respect.
This match probably wouldn’t be half bad, though as Brooke has improved her in-ring ability tenfold over the last year, and Bella had turned into one of the best female workers in the company by the end of her title reign.
That is truly not a bad half of a WrestleMania card. It features at least three potential main eventers, two other huge names, a handful of other solid mid card talents, one of the most popular and recognizable WWE divas, and two emerging NXT stars.
I don’t know if there is an easy fix to stop these injuries or if this was just a freak year, but it’s truly insane that there is enough people out for me to write this article.
