A few years back, vintage WWF ice cream bars became a bit of a meme when CM Punk demanded he get his own visage on a tasty ice cream treat, just like the WWF Superstars of yore. WWE ice cream came back into vogue when The New Day began driving an ice cream cart and promising us for like two months that they were going to give fans ice cream, but then it just ended up being Otter Pops. And I’ll be DAMNED if I consider popsicles to be ice cream. I will be DAMNED.
This past weekend, the United States “celebrated” National Ice Cream Day, which is like four rungs below National Talk Like A Pirate Day in terms of brand recognition, but probably a billion rungs above it in terms of taste satisfaction. Personally, I live every day like it’s National Ice Cream Day, which is why my doctor is so angry at me.
To celebrate National Ice Cream Day, WWE released this fun megamix of the old 1980s 20-second promo clips for WWF ice cream bars that appeared on their syndicated shows. Because you can just put as many commercials INSIDE your program as you want! It’s free!
Sadly, I’ve never actually gotten to eat one of these tasty-looking bad boys. The side that had the Superstar printed on it was a cookie, and the other side was just pure damn chocolate. And no matter how low-quality the cookie, if you put it on top of ice cream, that’s a delicious confection.
Also sadly, it seems that very few of these amazing ice cream promos have been uploaded to YouTube, but let’s bask in the glory of the couple that exist outside of WWE Network, or WWE’s vast private tape vault.
First up, here’s Ken Patera, who understands that former Olympians all watch the Olympics while eating ice cream in a darkened apartment:
And here’s the late, great George “The Animal” Steele, somehow without his trademark green tongue, and exhibiting absolutely no problem with eating himself:
There were a bunch of other spots at the time, of course, including ice cream eatery from Bret Hart, Hillbilly Jim, Nikolai Volkoff, Fabulous Moolah, and a lot more, but I guess we’ll just have to wait for that DVD set to be released. I’m waiting, WWE.