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Total Recall Remake Has Kate Beckinsale's Ass, 'Splosions

Here's A Story That Should Make Us All Sick

By 03.27.12

As has been evidenced by his attendance at practically every Los Angeles Lakers game, soccer superstar David Beckham has definitely made himself a home here in the good, ol’ U.S. of A. Obviously it helped that he finally led the L.A. Galaxy to a MLS Cup victory in 2011, after signing with the team in 2007, but once he signed a new two-year deal and talks of his eventual ownership of the team surfaced, it was a certainty.

But apparently Becks and his wife Sporty Scary Dopey Grumpy Hefty Posh Victoria have been sold on L.A. for a few years and have been quietly waiting for the right time to sell their massive British home. That time is now, the price tag is $28 million and you don’t even have to guess who wants to buy it, because of course it’s Kim Kardashian.

Kim is said to be planning to snap up the property – which comes complete with helipad, petting zoo…

Must… fight… urge…

… swimming pools and a recording studio – to use as a European base for her family including sisters Khloe and Kourtney and mother Kris Jenner. (Via the Winnipeg Free Press)

Obviously, my first thought was: “No way that this jaded fame whore family can honestly be dumb enough to throw down $28 million on an estate in a country full of people who might not give two soggy crumpets about them.” But don’t worry, they have a plan. They’re going to rent out rooms in the estate to their wealthy fans. I don’t even have a joke for that.

As for the Beckhams, why did it take so long for them to list their mansion?

An insider told the Daily Mirror: “David and Victoria have been wanting to sell up for a couple of years now but the timing was never right.

“They didn’t want to lose money, putting their homes up for sale during a slump in the property market.”

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a $2 coupon for Pollo Tropical that’s about to expire.


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