The Best And Worst Of Smackdown 5/9/14: You’re By Yourself Tonight

By: 05.10.14

Best: Man, I Can’t Wait Until This Vladimir Putin Guy Debuts

As the amount of Putin praising in Lana’s introductions increases, the amount of Rusev content decreases. This week she went on about Putin for a solid minute, then was like, “oh, and here’s Rusev.”

I hope the Putin stuff gets more and more elaborate until one day Lana comes out, cuts a 10-minute promo about Crimea, then leaves without ever introducing Rusev. Or better yet a Putin impersonator comes out instead — halfway through Putin’s match they could cut to a very sad Rusev doing his pre-match dance in front of a monitor backstage while eating a pint of rocky road.

And yes, Rusev beat up a black guy again on Smackdown. Also, according to tha dert sheetz Rusev and Lana are doin’ it in real life. I’m not sure which is more apalling.

Worst: Fandango’s Back

Fandango, dude, you got triple powerbombed off the stage through a pile of tables. It was the most violent thing to happen on WWE TV in, I dunno, years? You could have taken more than a couple weeks off. Did you really need to rush back for another Santemma match? No, you didn’t.

Speaking of Santemma, I was back to hating them again this week, and I think I know why. As long as they stick to childish slapstick I don’t mind their antics. I like Santino killing Emma’s arm with the cobra. The pink cobra is cute (come on, it is). It’s when the Santemma stuff gets sexual in any way that my bile starts to churning. So, when Fandango and Layla started making out and Santino was all, “Heya Emma-a, lookit that-a [bonerface]” I fell into a deep despair. Is it just Emma? Would I be reacting this way if, say, Rosa Mendes was making Santino’s snake turgid? I guess I could try to think of Rosa Mendes every time I see Emma, but I think that might make the despair worse.

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