why god why?

Script for the *next* Pirates already written

By | 9 Comments

I've heard from a few different people who've seen early cuts of Pirates 4, and they've all said it's bad -- like insultingly bad, even compared to the last few -- and I have no reason to doubt them based on <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2011/05/first-clip-from-pirates-4-is-a-real-swashsuckler" target="_blank">the last clip</a> we saw, which had all the fight choreography of a Nickelodeon sitcom about a talking horse.

why god why?

Pirates 4 looks dumber than I could’ve even imagined

By | 10 Comments

Thanks to <a href="http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809791042/video/25099779" target="_blank">YahooMovies</a>, we have the first clip from Pirates of the Caribbean 4, aka Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, aka Oh God This is Never Going to End is it, from new director Rob Marshall (of Chicago/Nine fame).

#Star Wars

From The Wayback File: Donny and Marie’s Star Wars

By | 5 Comments

being cut to occasionally to tell a joke and make the same face.


New Wyatt Earp movie will rewrite history in crayon

By | 19 Comments

Not content to turn pirates of the Caribbean into ghost chasers, Abraham Lincoln <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/10/fox-wins-bidding-war-for-abraham-lincoln-vampire-hunter" target="_blank">into a vampire hunter</a>, Edgar Allan Poe <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/11/john-cusack-as-edgar-allen-poe" target="_blank">into a rape detective</a>, Little Red Riding Hood <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/11/trailer-twilight-directors-gothic-horror-take-on-red-riding-hood" target="_blank">into a werewolf humper</a>, Peter Pan into <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2011/03/channing-tatums-peter-pan-origin-story-pitch-was-worth-1-million" target="_blank">a 30-year-old wigger</a>, etc.

unnecessary sequels

Bruckheimer moving ahead with Pirates 5: Dead Man’s Farts

By | 15 Comments

In case you were worried we wouldn't get a fifth Pirates of the Caribbean film after the fourth one hits theaters in May, fret not, this bland, sh-tty franchise will be the last thing left on Earth along with cockroaches and Taco Bell taco meat.



By | 18 Comments

Deliciously feisty firecrotch Isla Fischer is set to star in Desperados, a film the LA Times is calling 'a female Hangover.


Zoobilee Zoo: Hypnotically Bad

By | 38 Comments

Until today, I had no knowledge of the 1980s childrens program "Zoobilee Zoo" that lived on in syndication throughout the '90s.


Latest retarded thing getting a movie adaptation: The Macy’s Day Parade

By | 26 Comments

Look, don't start adding stupid stuff to the comments section on this one, like "OH MY GOD, what's next, an adaptation of (some equally ridiculous thing).


Hollywood is not even pretending that they’re still trying

By | 9 Comments

Jonah Hill is in negotiations to make his directing debut, and don't get me wrong: I like Jonah Hill.


New Little Fockers Trailer Stabs Oscar Right in the Boner

By | 27 Comments

After the jump, you'll find the brand new trailer for Little Fockers.

why god why?

Writer hired to adapt What to Expect When You’re Expecting

By | 34 Comments

I was sitting here feeling bad that I'd covered barely any movie news this afternoon, so then I start going through the trade news, and what's the first story I see.

unnecessary sequels

Robert DeNiro has an important message about Little Fockers

By | 7 Comments

"Thinking of seeing <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/06/its-all-fun-games-until-robert-deniro-gets-stabbed-in-the-dck" target="_blank">Little Fockers</a>.

Reality TV

Coming to E!: 'The Attractive Kardashians Take New York'

By | 18 Comments

It goes without saying that all of the Kardashian sisters are devoid of any moral worth or intellect, but two of the three are very nice to look at, while the third is a warning to scientists who might be tempted to splice rhinoceros DNA with human genes.


CBS Making Another Twitter Sitcom

By | 9 Comments

With "Bleep My Dad Says," CBS took a hilarious and profane <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/shitmydadsays" target="_blank">Twitter feed</a>, scrubbed it clean, and turned it into a formulaic, watered-down sitcom with a miscast William Shatner.


Oh, Sharktopus. Why Can't We Be Friends?

By | 2 Comments

GammaSquad Exclusive deleted scene.


Ryan Reynolds is trapped in your box again ;-(

By | 29 Comments

Here's the new international trailer for Buried, a pointless, terrible piece of sh*t starring Ryan Reynolds.


HAHAHAHAHA, ‘Focker’, get it????

By | 22 Comments

<a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/08/hahahahaha-focker-get-it#more-32747"> Hold your sides and hide your funny bones, folks, there's <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/08/hahahahaha-focker-get-it#more-32747">a new trailer</a> for Little Fockers on the loose.

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