We’ve done our best to keep you up to date on the wildly entertaining and completely impotent feud raging between Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom: from the first report to the Instagram haymakers to video of the slapfight to Leonardo DiCaprio’s involvement, we’ve been on top of this one.
Now that the dust has settled, Stephen Colbert has offered his take. And it’s the definitive one. Watch the video above to see Colbert distill the entire feud down to three minutes of hilarity. Highlights include: a dramatic play-by-play of the altercation; Colbert fitting all of the backstory pieces together, including Miranda Kerr and Selena Gomez; and the names of every couple combination receiving the silly portmanteau treatment.
If the video above doesn’t work, try this YouTube version: