The Bachelorette (ABC) — Ashley takes the remaining hunks on a trip to exotic Thailand, where $30 can buy them a night of freaky sex with two women better-looking than Ashley.
Stanley Cup Finals (NBC) — Game 6, Vancouver leads Boston 3-2. That’s right, “Finals” with an S. It’s a series comprised of multiple games, hence the plural. So any hockey fan who tries to tell me it’s the Stanley Cup Final can shove a big silver trophy right up his gaping Canada.
Platinum Hit (Bravo) — Here’s a reality TV show I haven’t talked about before. And not talking about a reality show is the most damning response of all: not good enough to garner ratings, not bad enough to spark a reaction.
New Hampshire Republican Presidential Debate (CNN) — Starring Mitt Romney, Michele Bachman, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, and Rick Santorum. AKA “America’s Next Top Dukakis.”
Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family) — Season premiere. Does this “secret life” include prostitution or spying on communists? No? Then I’m not interested.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Mostly reruns. Jason Sudeikis and Adam Levine on Leno; Henry Kissinger on Colbert; Adam Carolla on Lopez; and Noah Wyle and up-and-coming roast star Anthony Jeselnik on Conan.
