South Park (Comedy Central, 10:00 p.m.) — Now that they’ve got a Whole Foods and they’re feeling like the best versions of themselves, the fine citizens of South Park band together to rid their town of a terrifying group of human beings: Trigger-happy police officers.
Empire (FOX, 9:00 p.m.) — Like Jay Z before him, Lucious has his sights set on turning his record label into an actual empire through a partnership with a music streaming service.
American Horror Story: Hotel (FX, 10:00 p.m.) — Revenge is a dish best served cold, or — in the case of Ramona and Donovan — covered in blood. Also, the occupant of the mysterious Room 33 is revealed.
Arrow (The CW, 8:00 p.m.) — Neal McDonough (!!!) is still holding Ray hostage, which has Felicity pulling her hair out while trying to plan an extraction mission (and kicking herself while she’s down and projecting her guilt onto Oliver). The woman has a lot going on right now.
Modern Family (ABC, 9:00 p.m.) — Haley finally bumps into Andy because somehow there’s not an app to help you avoid your exes yet? Meanwhile, the other Dunphy children are all in hot water, provided that Phil can pull himself together enough to yell at them.
Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 9:00 p.m.) — Noah goes missing and Benson rightfully bugs the hell out.
Blackish (ABC, 9:30 p.m.) — Charlie’s the babysitter when Zoey goes to visit Brown University, but he’s more focused on winning the affection of guest star Amber Rose. Can you blame him?
Nashville (ABC, 10:00 p.m.) — Rayna’s less than thrilled when Deacon’s past comes a-knockin’ and Luke has to decide what kind of man he wants to be.
The League (FXX, 10:00 p.m.) — Taco puts himself through concussion protocol after recurring injuries from sex. Pete’s addicted to television and Ruxin and Sofia try Skype sex. So, a typical week in a typical fantasy football league.
You’re the Worst (FXX, 10:30 p.m.) — The inlaws cometh. Jimmy’s family visits from England, so he’s rightfully mortified and Gretchen is rightfully annoyed. They’re probably gonna want to do some touristy crap, aren’t they?
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Viola Davis, Brian Greene and George Ezra on Colbert; Christoph Waltz, Carey Mulligan and Johnny Galecki on Corden; Paul Bettany on The Daily Show; James McAvoy, Sam Smith and Kurt Braunohler on Fallon; Rob Lowe, Adrianne Palicki and Dave Gahan & Soulsavers on Kimmel; Adam Levine, Bethenny Frankel and Alessia Cara on Meyers.
