If you hadn’t already heard — from everyone on Facebook making booty jokes — it’s Talk Like a Pirate Day, an annual event in which we come together as one to annoy the hell out of each other by screaming “aye matey” and “aaaaargh” at random and inopportune times. Also, to steal boats just for the hell of it.
Krispy Kreme has been making the day even more awesome by offering free donuts to anyone who partakes in the fun inside their stores!
https://www.instagram.com/p/BKYNe2GgEY3/
Last week, the donut shop tweeted out an offer so tempting that no scalawag or sea devil could possibly refuse: Show up to their stores and talk like a pirate? Be rewarded with one free donut. Show up dressed as a pirate? Become the hero of your office — and the bane of HR’s existence — by netting a dozen glazed hunks of fried dough you could share with all your friends!
And people are going for it. Check out these pictures of people dressed as pirates to get their free cholesterol spike on:
Ahoy Mateys! Thar be @krispykreme donuts for celebrating #TLAPD pic.twitter.com/3mSKAMADLe
— Technology WIN! (@technologyWIN) September 19, 2016
https://twitter.com/krispykreme/status/777942141041512448
Another awesome year of Krispy Kreme hosting #TalkLikeAPirateDay!!! GO GET YOUR FREE DOUGHNUTS!!! @krispykreme pic.twitter.com/zV9eENi7Je
— Rottronic (@Rottronic) September 19, 2016
Yes, some of these costumes are elaborate, but it’s unlikely that anyone’s going to deny you your sugar is your get-up’s a little less than movie quality. Hell, we’d try just putting a shirt on our heads as bandannas and giving it a shot for that free box of glazed goodness. The worst that can happen is you only get one for speaking like a pirate.
PHOTOS: Locals dress up like pirates for free @krispykreme doughnuts https://t.co/el5krZtWa1 #TalkLikeAPirateDay pic.twitter.com/lH6JorbuP4
— Knoxville Dotcom (@KnoxvilleDotcom) September 19, 2016
https://twitter.com/krispykreme/status/777862840409554945
https://twitter.com/krispykreme/status/777861729225146368
https://twitter.com/krispykreme/status/777857429589614592
Either way, make sure you take a photo on your aye-phone,* post it to Instagram, and then check out the other deals you can get today just for succumbing to our already-innate need of attention and validation from others! (No one’s judging! We’re this-f*cking-close to calling security on an intern who’s trying to make his own peg leg out of a barely used office chair.)
To be fair, though, Long John Silver’s rival pirate dress code is pretty strict:
Be sure to follow the pirate code of dressin. To qualify as "dressed like a pirate", you must wear at least 3 items: https://t.co/56b7ue7EEW
— Long John Silver's 🟡 (@longjohnsilvers) September 19, 2016
*There was a pirate pun quota we were obligated to meet.