Morning Links: Gina Carano, Colons

Every link in the “sports” section has a colon in it, so please enjoy the visual from this morning’s links title.

Sports

The Change-Up: Five Fighters We Wish Could Switch Bodies – Anything headed by a picture of Crush in her underwear gets a spotlight in the morning links. I wish I could switch bodies with Gina Carano. Also, part of me wishes Gina and Brock Lesnar were my parents. [Cage Potato]

Ed: The World’s Worst Baseball Movie – They should’ve done one of these “animal plays sports” movies with every character from “Friends”. I think MVP: Most Valuable Primate could’ve been even better with Matthew Perry breaking out “could he BE any better at hockey?” [Josh’s Websight]

LOLNFL: Training Camp 2011, Part 2 – One thing I’ve never been good at on the Internet is adding big white letters to pictures to make them funny. I’m not knocking it, I just don’t know how to do it. Like, if I see a picture of Tom Brady all I can think to put over it is “TOM BRADY FOOTBALL”. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

The NBA Lockout Report: Ron Artest To Play In Britain Next Year – Finally, Peace comes to the UK. Maybe he has no intentions of playing basketball and just wants to break somebody’s window and steal their blu-ray of Rango. POLITICAL UNREST~! [Smoking Section]

With Leather

The Professional Wrestling Divas Guide to Fantasy Football Tight Ends – I’m happy to have helped with this installment of Burnsy’s Bad Advice. It got Chickbuster AJ onto the list and let me upload the greatest picture of Maryse ever. At least, the greatest work-safe one. [With Leather]

Green Eggs And Cam – Still waiting for somebody to notice the photoshop. Getting people to comment on regular sports blog posts is like translating doggone Shakespeare! [With Leather]

Jason Terry Is Livin’ De Life – And if you ain’t readin’, shorty, then you’re part of the hype. He said he’s livin de life, he said he’s livin de life. Repeat. [With Leather]

Hulk Hogan Weighed in on the UK Riots – Hulk’s about to get a naked picture of his daughter for his birthday (not a joke), so read your last chance ever to take him seriously. Because, uh, you’re still doing that. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Naturally Tyler Perry Gets His Own Cable Network, Jesus Weeps – The best joke on UPROXX all week is in this, comparing The Tyler Perry Channel to Hamsterdam from “The Wire”. I can’t wait for six full hours of “Meet The Browns”, though. [Smoking Section]

The John Stamos Guide to Cuddling – Step 1: Have Mercy. [College Humor]

The Ten Most Vile Actions of the Paddy’s Pub Gang on It’s Always Sunny – S.C.R.A.P.S. really needs to be a real acronym. This list is a great reminder that these people have been getting paid well to do things like building a literal sh*t-hole for the last seven years. [Warming Glow]

This Week in Posters: When Diagonals Attack! – Diagonal is the new Blue And Orange. Be sure to click through and watch the trailer for Disney’s weird, naturalist remake of Powder, which exists for some reason. All that trailer needed to make it perfect was “Chasing Cars”. [Film Drunk]