Unless you’ve been under a rock for the last week — or in a sugar coma from some other novelty cash grab — you know that Starbucks recently created the Unicorn Frappuccino. The candy-colored “drink” was everywhere on social media over the last few days as hordes of people stampeded for the limited time concoction. Unicorns are now extinct, you monsters — we hope your Lisa Frank diabetes was worth it.
If you really were under a rock: Customers loved it (until they tried it) and baristas hated it with the fire of a thousand Balrogs.
Now, the Unicorn Frappuccino’s reign of terror has come to an end. With the popularity of the Instagram catnip though, it’s only a matter of time until it returns for good. In the meantime, some Starbucks’ baristas are making the best of the leftover ingredients to create the Dragon Frappuccino. Unlike its unicorn counterpart, this swirl of sugary death doesn’t taste like someone poured Pixie Stix into an Amoxicillin smoothie. Instead, it uses a Matcha base with coconut syrup, vanilla bean powder, and white mocha and purple drizzle. Right now the Dragon Frappuccino seems limited to the California area, but with a color palette that calls to the siren of social media, it won’t be long until the drink flies across the country.
You know it’s only a matter of time before Starbucks cashes in on this with #TeamUnicorn and #TeamDragon battles. Personally, my money is on the fire-breathing death lizards over the land narwhals. And thus the circle of capitalism is complete. Sorry unicorns.
