this better not awaken anything in me
Previously on the Best and Worst of NXT: Fandango returned to NXT to save Tyler Breeze from a bunch of angry bikers and “re-imagine” Breezango. What that means in Fandango’s brain is anybody’s guess.
If you missed this episode, you can watch it here.
If you’d like to read previous installments of the Best and Worst of NXT, click right here. Follow With Spandex on Twitter and Facebook. You can also follow me on Twitter, where everything and everyone is terrible.
And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for August 7, 2019.
This Week On NXT
NXT TakeOver: Toronto Dos is on Saturday and we’re out of taping footage, apparently, so this week’s episode is a contract signing where nothing really happens, one match, and one pretend match that ends before it starts. Not a great episode, but who cares when there’s a TakeOver three days away, right?
Most of the show is video packages. The best of these is the recap of Candice LeRae’s upcoming televised murder at the hands of Io Shirai, set to Poppy’s ‘Scary Mask’ in a fantastic convergence of my interests. If we actually get Poppy in person at this TakeOver (like we were originally supposed to in Phoenix) and she plays Evil Io to the ring? I don’t think my heart could stand it.
Anyway, here are some video packages! #Content!
See What Had Happened Was
This week’s episode opens with a contract signing between the NXT Tag Team Champions, Raw’s The Street Profits, and the Undisputed Era. I want to make sure this gets love for two reasons:
- Street Profits calling them “O’Reilly Auto Parts” and “Laurence Fishburne Jr.” leading to Bobby Fish doing the “that was so funny I forgot to laugh” routine, and Kyle O’Reilly’s incredible shithead delivery of the line, “Bobby, I actually remembered to laugh, but I chose not to, because it wasn’t funny.” KAY-OHHHH.
- It’s a contract signing where the people actually signed the contract and didn’t start fighting each other. NXT actually understands that if something ALWAYS happens, it’s never exciting when it happens. So if you set a precedent that it might not happen, even once, it can be more surprising when it does.
Next I want to see someone get a cake for their birthday and not get thrown into it.
The One Match
The only actual wrestling match on the show is Joaquin Wilde, a guy from the NXT Breakout Tournament, taking on Shane Thorne, a guy mad about the NXT Breakout Tournament. I like both guys, but it’s the definition of, “and also …” The extent of Thorne’s character since TM-61 broke up is one segment where he shows up at the announce table and yells at them, and Wilde’s only other match was a round one loss to a guy who was also eliminated.
It’s good, though, while it lasts. Wilde is less impressive here than in his debut, as his whole thing appears to be spinning before he does anything. He forward rolls into everything like he’s Konnan in ’98, and can’t even throw a strike without yelling YUUHHHHHHHHH and spinning in place. I’d give him more grief if Shane Thorne hadn’t also done my least favorite thing in wrestling: the Will Ospreay Memorial “turn your back to your opponent and do a big slow taunt before you hit the ropes.” That thing breezed past that lucha thing where a guy runs at you so you just side step him and pat him on the back, and he keeps running.
I did love the finish, though, which sees Thorne realize he might actually be in trouble and decide to get his shit together. He almost gets counted out, so instead of rolling back in, he breaks the count and continues to powder. This gets Wilde off his game, allowing Thorne to go buck wild on him on the floor and throw him into everything he can find. Once Wilde’s bludgeoned to death, Thorne rolls him back in and gives him a Aussie-Trigger to win. Shane Thorne’s the jam.
The Other Thing That Was Also Supposed To Be A Match
Matt Riddle is supposed to have a one-on-one match with Killian Dain for literally putting him in the ground a few weeks ago, but gets blindsided and attacked again. I suppose the timing of this is to explain why Riddle vs. Dain isn’t a TakeOver match, since there’s no room for it. There are already five matches on the card and at least two (the Breezango/Forgotten Sons tag and the Breakout Tournament finals) assumed for the pre-show episode, so you might as well push this to a future Featured Match episode of NXT TV. War Games in November seems way too far off.
But anyway, yeah, that’s the episode. Again, it’s not much, but Toronto’s going to bang, and that’s really what we’re here for.
