Chuck Norris Outs Himself As A ‘Covert Chemtrailing’ Conspiracy Theorist

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It’s no secret that Chuck Norris and the legend he leads is stranger than fiction. But recently, glimpses of his worldview let us know how deep that eccentricity runs. Norris took us down the rabbit hole in a new article for WND that claims the government is “covert chemtrailing’ the populace.

In an article that delves deep into conspiracy, Norris lays out a case for why governments might be secretly spraying chemicals via airplane. Norris thinks they might even be vaccinating people (gasp!). A portion of his evidence is that he and his wife saw chemtrails “in the skies over our own Texas ranch.” Watch out shady government organizations, the eyes of the ranger are upon you.

The whole article is so dense with tin-foil fodder that it could almost pass for parody. The following is an actual sentence from his column:

“If you don’t believe there’s some smoke-screening in the sky trails above you, I have a London Bridge to sell you in Lake Havasu City, Arizona.”

That’s before Chuck starts quoting Shakespeare. He even manages to tie in the recent deaths of Merle Haggard and Prince. He closes the article a quote from the late great Purple One’s “Dreamer.”

“While the helicopter circles us, this theory’s getting’ deep, Think they’re spraying chemicals over the city while we sleep? From now on I’m staying’ awake, you can call me a dreamer too, wake up, wake up.”

Check out the whole thing here.