Donald Trump Calls Kim Jong Un ‘Short And Fat’ Before Saying He ‘Tried So Hard’ To Be His Friend

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Donald Trump, the President of the United States, wants friends. After reports stating that he spends most of his time, robed, watching Fox News in the White House, it seems as if he wants some pals that he can relate to, like perhaps North Korea’s Kim Jong Un. But months after Kim called Trump “dotard,” which is slang for an old and senile person in Korean, Trump is walking back any supposed friendly attitude he had to the North Korean regime and Kim, who he’s called “Rocket Man” on multiple occasions.

And so, with the fury of a middle-schooler scorned, the leader of the free world has decided to employ his own brand of diplomacy toward the North Korean leader who has increased the frequency of ballistic missile tests in his region while boasting the expansion of his country’s nuclear arms: “Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me “old,” when I would NEVER call him “short and fat?” Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend – and maybe someday that will happen!”

Of course, this isn’t the first time Trump has admitted to wanting to make friends with leaders the United States doesn’t consider allies, in 2013, he wondered if Putin could become his “new best friend.”

There is currently a special investigation to see if Putin and Russia meddled in the 2016 election on Donald Trump’s behalf, but it’s unknown if that investigation will declaratively state that Putin and Trump are best friends. May Dennis Rodman save us all.