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Steven Seagal Responds To Accusations That His Martial-Arts Demonstration Was Fake

You may remember a few weeks back when we shared video of Steven Seagal doing an Aikido demonstration at a Russian sambo tournament, looking like a pirate in his pajamas teaching the youth to dance. Now this week, a TMZ cameraman has accosted Steven Seagal in an airport to ask him the important questions:

TMZ DOUCHE: Was that real or fake?

SEAGAL: I’m gonna try not to be insulted, I’ve been doing martial arts all my life, how could it be fake?

“Mr. Seagal, Mr. Seagal! How do you respond to internet commenters who say the video was fake and/or gay?”

Asked why the assistants went down so quickly, Seagal responded:

“What happens when you are about to break someone’s arm or wrist, usually, they like to go with it so it doesn’t snap.”

Also, it’s a martial-arts demonstration. It looked like every other Aikido demonstration ever, where the instructor twists an assistant’s finger like a little girl on the playground and the assistant defends with four somersaults. What would “fake” even mean here? I don’t think anyone was under the impression that this was a real fight:

The biggest disappointment for me is that the camera cuts off just above whatever shoes Steven Seagal’s wearing as he walks to the mat. I’m picturing some ornate, traditional slipper-type things, only made using twice the normal amount of yak skin or whatever.

The better part of the TMZ video is at the beginning, when Seagal says, “I don’t have any bodyguards,” while walking through the airport flanked by a bald guy with shades, a circle beard, and tribal tats, and another circle beard guy in a very serious trilby.

 

I’m going to take Seagal’s word for it and assume those guys aren’t his bodyguards. One was probably his sunglass valet, and the other his moonshine sherpa. Who needs bodyguards when you’ve got a bulletproof kimono anyway?

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