FilmDrunk

This Week In Movie Posters: ‘John Wick: Chapter 2’ Is Still Winning, Plus The World’s Worst ‘Inferno’ Poster

This week in This Week In Movie Posters begins, by virtue of alphabetical order, with Arrival. Sicario director Denis Villeneuve’s latest gives us Gravity-style astronaut helmet graphics, asking, “Why are we here?”

Is the answer “To steal a title from a perfectly decent Charlie Sheen movie?” Come on, man, you can’t just pretend you came up with that on your own. Do you want to see the ruins, my friend?

I’ll be honest, I’m probably going to see any movie with space helmets and lens flares on the poster. That being said, Jeremy Renner looks more like he just took a bong load than like he just saw an alien.

Jesus, another ballet movie? I think my movies-about-ballet to actual-ballet-performances ratio is like 10 to 0 at this point. Ballet, jazz, punching mirrors, detectives who listen to opera, going underwater to think — what else do movie characters seem to enjoy far more than people in real life?

I assume this movie is about a group of sideways humans raised in a wolf den. Sounds neat.

The last poster I had no idea what it was about. The plot is equally mysterious here, but it’s clearly a horror movie written by Jordan Peele which is just enough for me to want to find out. There should be a word for that, the point where mystery passes from apathy to intrigue. I’d ask a marketing person about it, but marketing people are generally idiots. No offense, please don’t @ me.

This is a strong poster. I know it may count less coming from me because I’m color blind, but yellow and black is a pretty strong poster color scheme. See also. Also, I can’t wait until Jim Jarmusch’s Metallica movie, Gimme Fue Gimme Fie Gimme Gimme Dabajabbaza.

My, what a brilliant concept. I like that they’ve tilted Felicity Jones slightly to one side, to give the illusion of movement, while giving her the blandest possible expression and somehow managing to make her look kind of like Miley Cyrus. Believe it or not, this isn’t even the worst Inferno poster this week.

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