A ‘Domestic Dispute’ Call Revealed The Sheer Terror Mankind Feels For Spiders

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First, there was Samwise Gamgee killing the giant spider Shelob in order to save Frodo. Then, Harry and Ron had to escape from Aragog and her children (thanks Hagrid). In the latest example of humanoid versus spider, there was this guy facing off with his worst nightmare inside a flat in New South Wales.

Natives of Australia know that spiders invading your privacy is a way of life, but that doesn’t mean they have to like it. Some are so horrified that they may want to invest in a personal flamethrower unit, or maybe a giant shoe when they get their spider sense tingling.

For example: last week, police officers were called to a flat by worried neighbors after they heard a woman screaming, furniture crashing and a man yelling “I’m going to kill you, you’re dead!” When the police arrived to the scene of the potential domestic dispute, they found only a single man alone in his apartment, out of breath and battling a massive spider as if his life depended on it. The Harbourside LAC – NSW Police Force Facebook page posted a transcription of the arachnophobe’s interaction with the officers:

Police: “Where’s your wife”
Male: “umm I don’t have one”
Police: “Where your girlfriend”
Male: “umm I don’t have one”
Police: “We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?”
Male: “I don’t know what you’re talking about I live alone”
Police: “Come on mate people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit”

Police: “come on mate, what have you done to her.”
Male: “it was a spider”
Police “Sorry??”
Male: “It was a spider, a really big one!!
Police :”what about the women screaming?”
Male: “Yeah sorry that was me, I really really hate spiders”

One thing’s for sure—this guy’s no Delbert McClintock.

(Via Harbourside LAC – NSW Police Force on Facebook)