The LAPD Would Like Everyone To Know That Richard Simmons Is ‘Perfectly Fine’

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Fresh off the premiere of the latest hot podcast sweeping the nation “Missing Richard Simmons,” there is an update on Simmons’ current condition from the LAPD themselves. The police, who have been doing welfare checks on the former exercise scion and all-around motivational human being when he first disappeared from the public eye in 2014 and have been continuing them over the years. After Simmons receded into the shadows after many decades of being front row center at many public events, those close to him started worrying about his condition. There have been rumors of his being held hostage (potentially by his housekeeper), his being ill in some way, or any other number of other reasons he could be holed up in his house.

After the cops went to check in on him, they released the following statement to assuage any existing concerns fans may have:

“There was something about his housekeeper holding him hostage and not allowing people to see him and preventing him from making phone calls and it was all garbage and that’s why we went out to see him. None of it is true. The fact of the matter is we went out and talked to him he is fine, nobody is holding him hostage. He is doing exactly what he wants to do. If he wants to go out in public or see anybody he will do that. He is perfectly fine and he is very happy. I don’t know what he is going to do, but right now he is doing what he wants to do and it is his business.”

The statement is pretty unequivocal in its certainty, but that doesn’t mean podcast fans and conspiracy theorists alike won’t add this to their list of “times Richard Simmons hasn’t come out in public at all.” Until Simmons shows his face at a public event — or just goes grocery shopping in the neighborhood — chances are those who miss him won’t be completely happy with the explanation of his disappearance being that he is just taking some time for himself.

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