Adulting is hard. Sure, we’re taught that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell and that William the Conqueror made his way to Britain in 1066 in school, but things like how to cook a chicken or balance a budget are not exactly required learning these days. Your parents did the best they could to prepare you for real life, but some knowledge is only gained through experience — like dead houseplants, clothes that only go from the clean pile on the chair to the dirty pile on the floor, and empty pizza boxes in your fridge.
Through a good bit of trial and error, you may start to realize that you’re not so bad at this paying bills, eating healthy, grown up business. You’re bound to have your slip ups, but after awhile, you may start to feel like you’re actually getting your sh*t together. It’ll probably happen slowly, with a few signs popping up here and there. There are many ways to tell that your life is beginning to have a modicum of stability (bye bye, excessive student loan debt!), but here are some signs that you’re nailing it.
You’re Not Afraid To Check Your Bank Account Anymore
When you’re young and stupid, checking your remaining funds can be reason to sweat. Nowadays, you may not necessarily have tons of money, but you do know a little bit more about how to handle it. You might even have *gasp* a budget. While finances may have previously been a high stakes guessing game, you know your limits now and how to stay within them. Mostly…
You Can Cook A Handful Of Meals From Scratch
You’re still going to order pizza. You’re a human being and pizza is awesome. However, you do have a couple of meals that you can actually cook from scratch when you want to impress. It could be as simple as a roast chicken or grilled cheese, but damn it, it makes you feel like the Barefoot Contessa.
Your Bathroom Is No Longer A House Of Horrors
Cleaning the bathroom is easily the worst chore. Scrubbing toilets, pulling hair out of the drain… disgusting. You know what is more disgusting, though? Ignoring it and letting your filth accumulate. A little everyday maintenance keeps things from ever getting truly dire, and as an adult, you recognize this. Gone are the days of moldy sinks and mildew on your shower curtain. You’ve ascended to the next level. You are an achiever.
You Might Even Be Able To Keep Something Else Alive
Be it dog, bird, or houseplant, if you can keep something other than yourself alive, you’re well on your way to being a functional adult. Your work or living situation may, unfortunately, make an actual pet an impossibility, but if you can remember to water that peace lily your mom gave you when you moved into your current place, you’re practically a parent (Kidding. Babies are so much harder than plants).
You’ve Discovered Auto Pay
Long gone are the days when your panicked “Oh sh*t, this is due TOMORROW” thoughts fill your head. You’ve learned that bills come before booze, and with autopay, you don’t even have to think about it. You can worry about other things now, like paying off credit cards and being a responsible voter. So much fun, right?
You’re Starting To Give A Sh*t About Taking Care Of Your Body
Listen, we’d all love to eat mac & cheese for every meal and binge Netflix all day every day, but that is just not a good way to live. You may not like it, but you take your fat ass to the gym once in a while because your metabolism just isn’t what it used to be. You might even start buying vegetables and eating them instead of just letting them rot in your fridge while you order Chinese food again. However, the biggest test is when you have to start scheduling your own doctor’s appointments.
When you’re ready to actually get a checkup or deal with health issues in a timely manner, look out world. We have a real adult on our hands.
You Actually Answer Phone Calls
It may be old school, but sometimes you just need to answer the phone. If your bank calls you, don’t ignore it. Call your grandmother once in a while. While texting has become the communication method of choice, sometimes a good old-fashioned phone call is your best option. That doesn’t mean you have to leave a voicemail, though. You do have your limits, and a voicemail is just a bridge too far.
You Read Once In A While
Taking the time to read is one of the best ways to stay sharp and expand your mind. While it may be tempting to watch Seinfeld reruns for the fourth time, challenge yourself instead. You might even like it. If books just aren’t your thing, at least subscribe to a newspaper or two. While it is good to tear yourself away from screens occasionally, there is more on the internet than just cat pictures and memes. Also, you now get to hold your new reading habit over people while making them feel inferior.
You Have Actually Informed Opinions
It’s easy to just parrot opinions that you hear at family gatherings, but putting in the work to realize what you actually believe is always the better option, especially in an election year. Leaving behind that sheep mentality proves that you really are on your way to actual maturity. Knowing your own mind is invaluable, and that only comes from asking the hard questions.
You Recognize That You Don’t Have To Get It All Together At Once
Even if you’re starting to feel more like a success story every day, you’re still going to totally f*ck it up once in a while. That’s fine. That’s normal. You don’t have to be put together 100 percent of the time. Eating ice cream while wearing sweatpants is too satisfying to give up entirely.
