Remember those innocent days when the secret drinks at Starbucks went viral because they were pretty colors and not because they looked like they belonged on Fear Factor? Well, those days are over. And not only will Joe Rogan not show up to give you a reward for drinking Starbucks’ new menu item, but you’re going to have to pay for the privilege. Yes, you’ll have to spend hard-earned currency a drink called Baby Vomit.
Baby Vomit. Let that sink in. The name doesn’t get any better, does it? It just puts a delightful little tickle of nausea at the back of your throat. But why stop there? Let’s turn this into a full-blown barf-fest by discussing the drink’s taste, smell, and ingredients.
The beauty. The magic:
According to Cosmopolitan, the drink was posted to Reddit, where baristas agreed that it smelled just like it does when a baby throws up. We’re going to have to take their word for it — when was the last time you saw a baby throw up and thought, “Yo, I’m going to go smell that, really try to get it into my sense memory”? — but considering the ingredients, we can’t imagine it would smell like anything else.
Here’s what you’re going to need to ask for if you want this drink:
1 pump sugar free Vanilla
1 pump sugar free Cinnamon Dolce
1 pump Pumpkin Spice
2 pumps sugar free Hazelnut
1 pump sugar free Mocha
1 pump sugar free Caramel Syrup
Coconut Milk
6 scoops Matcha powder
Mocha Drizzle
Light Vanilla powder
Light Caramel drizzle
Light Cinnamon powder
Light Nutmeg powder
Add salt topping
Add whip
Light ice
Pumpkin topping
That sounds…muddled. You’re going to have to bring a list with you to order it. And, let’s not forget, it’s probably going to take forever to make because a) the list of ingredients is so long and b) the barista will be rolling his eyes the entire time he’s making this damn thing for you. Also, there’s probably a lot of sugar. It’s Starbucks, after all.
Hey, it’s your life, but if you do choose to order this thing, make sure you’re courteous about it. Baristas recently shared their thoughts on the secret menu on reddit and it turns out they’re happy to make whatever it is that you want as long as you know the ingredients, recognize the secret menu isn’t “real” to anyone but the internet, and don’t get mad if the barista doesn’t immediately know how to make what you want. You should also be considerate of the time of day — you don’t want to mess everyone up during rush hour — and recognize that yes, you will be paying for every little add-on that your heart desires.
