The World’s Greatest Drunk Food Is On The Menu At The White House Tonight

I’ve already waxed poetic on the splendor of Justin Trudeau’s dark, curly locks. But if there’s one thing Canada’s produced that’s even greater than the Prime Minister’s ruggedly handsome good looks, it’s got to be poutine. The salty, greasy french fry/cheese curd/gravy combination is every drunk person’s dream food. Heck, I’ll eat it when I’m not drunk—that’s how good it is.

As it turns out, White House executive chef Cristeta Comerford is also aware of the perfection of the dish. Or at least, she knows it will go over well with the guests of honor at tonight’s State Dinner: the Canadian PM and his wife, Sophie Grégoire-Trudeau.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like the Obamas are going to be knocking back beers with the Trudeaus over a bowl of the stuff tonight. State Dinners are formal affairs (which you can definitely pick up on from the official menu for tonight’s dinner), and Comerford’s poutine will be made to match that vibe: the “little poutine canapés” will be some version of a wafer fry topped with shavings of smoked Hudson River duck and a red-wine gravy. Fancy, fancy.

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Of course the internet has something to say about the menu choice. First, the most important question:

There’s also the opinion that America should embrace its Americanism on this front:

And the opinion that the chef has stereotyped Canada too much (though, to be fair, Canadian whiskey is also on the menu tonight, also poutine is the best):

Finally, here is the person who, like myself, just got hungry reading about the canapés.

Heading out to my local poutine spot now. It’s always Canada Day somewhere.