"Just...guys, would you just listen for one -- guys, PLEASE, just listen!"
Hey, remember that time everyone was absolutely freaking out because bacon-eating had been officially compared to smoking? No? It was real and people lost their minds [present company at least partially included -ed].
Turns out, the WHO wants everyone to calm down. According to a statement released just three days after The Finding Heard Round the World, “WHO has received a number of queries, expressions of concern and requests for clarification following the publication of a report from the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) relating to processed meat and colorectal cancer.”
Which is PR speak for “EVERYONE JUST BREATHE, IT’S OKAY.”
The statement then goes on to give a small clarification of the issue everyone’s panicking about: “The latest IARC review does not ask people to stop eating processed meats but indicates that reducing consumption of these products can reduce the risk of colorectal cancer.” (Emphasis ours.)
So there you have it world. Please stop sending death threats to WHO. No one is asking you to give up your pack-a-day bacon habit. They’re just saying that maybe, possibly, you should consider reducing it if you don’t feel like dying a nasty colorectal-cancer death. Is that clearer?
