People will line up to tell you the reasons why a work fling is a bad idea. Most will toss out the tried and true (and weird-as-hell) “Don’t s**t where you eat” adage. But while having to see a former lover after the fling has been flung isn’t going to make your “to do” list, the reasons to get deep into a workplace romance (or sexmance) are many. Taken all together, they make a strong case for giving into your erotic desires, HR be damned.
The work-relationship is also more common than you might think. A Vault.com survey reports that 61% of respondents had been involved in some kind of workplace…something. If you’re among the 39% who haven’t gotten down with a co-worker, or in the minuscule 6% who don’t think anyone ever should, here are a few positions to consider (see what we did there?):
You Are Excited To Go To Work
The whole “office drudgery” thing changes when you have a work fling. All of a sudden, work is this electric wonderland of sly glances and handshakes that last a second too long. Perhaps some footsie in the middle of a conference?
Point being: The object of your flingy obsession is guaranteed to spend part of the day around you, and there is no way that your inner 15-year-old will let you remain apathetic about this. No way.
You Have An Excuse To Dress-Up
When your at-work attraction is a guaranteed fixture in your workday, you make sure that you look good. Suddenly, the jeans that hug your ass just right are in the rotation more frequently. Make it interactive and let your fellow flinger make requests. If they mention liking your blue shirt and how it goes with your eyes, wield that information like a weapon and whip out that shirt when you want to drive them wild. It must be noted that every workday during a fling is an occasion for good underwear. Even if you don’t hook-up at work, knowing that you are ready to, undies and all, is exciting for you and for your flingmate.
You Save Time
In a normal romantic or hook-up situation, the time spent flirting and the time spent working draw from two separate wells. When you are screwing around with someone at your place of employment, you leave each workday having already put in some serious flirting time. You may even have had sex (nice work, you), which is the ultimate in multitasking. Plus, you can launch into a story about the people that you work with at any time without offering a bunch of exposition; you can get right to the gossip. You never have to answer the question “How was your day?” On conversation alone, you are saving an hour a day. That makes it a smart decision just based on productivity alone!
You Up Your Flirt Game
Flirting isn’t for everybody, but it should be. A well-timed quip or a slow verbal tease: these are the staples of intellectual foreplay, and a work fling lets you perfect them on the daily and on somebody else’s dime. If you can’t think of what to say, try, “Meet me in the supply room” or “Move your hand; I’m slipping off the copier.”
But don’t stop there. Up your game. Be coy, be silly, be devilish. Enticing a co-worker with arch banter makes the most mundane business interactions into a battle for libidinal supremacy.
You Are Titillated By Forbidden Romance
There aren’t that many scenarios where adult people are told that they can’t pursue a sexual relationship with another consenting adult, and that makes the work fling particularly attractive to people who like to break rules. The work fling falls into ideal taboo territory. It’s dangerous enough to be exciting, but not so far outside the norm that you can’t tell anyone about it. If your workplace will fire you for sexing up a co-worker or customer, you probably won’t tell people from work, of course. But, heck, maybe you will. How close to the sun do you like to fly?
You Have Sex At Work
Granted, not every work scenario lends itself to a little slap and tickle (another odd old adage) during your shift. It’s nearly impossible to cover Nancy’s tables or collate while actively having sex. Some of you geniuses can probably manage it, but it’s not the norm. Still, this is the highest form of petty revolt for an average person who owns khaki pants. So you should try it.
“Janitor’s closet? I’ve never been dirtier!”
“Conference room? Confer about all that sex I just had!”
“Manager’s office? Oh, I managed alright, managed to climax while staring at the scheduling sheet!”
You get the point: We’re in support of you getting laid.