Complaining about frivolous things is a bad habit — it can make people seem ungrateful, rude, and frankly, like a brat… not in that cool Charli XCX way but in that obnoxiously privledged way. But it can also be a lot of fun, especially when the target of your complaint is a big corporation that has probably ripped you off more than it’s given you any value.
These days, fewer and fewer people are hitting up the big fast food juggernauts, opting instead for more elevated restaurant experiences that offer you more bang for your buck or hitting up the specialty fast-casual joints that have higher quality food for similar prices.
Why pay $12 for a meal at McDonald’s when you can spend $9 for higher-quality food at In-N-Out? That’s the kind of question people are asking themselves and as a response, fast food brands are scrambling and trying to win customers back by offering more food for less money.
So clearly, complaining about fast food has some merit and sometimes you’ve got to call out these big brands, especially when they’ve been acting out. So we’re here to do just that. We’re naming all the worst menu items from our favorite big fast food chains.
Our hope is that fast food brands get the memo and start ditching these lesser items for stuff people actually want to spend money on (we know, that’s wishful thinking) or at the very least, we can dissuade you from wasting your money on something that seems like a good idea but fails to deliver. Let’s eat, or you know, not eat.
Arby’s — Chicken Slider
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
I think Arby’s gets a lot of unnecessary criticism just because a lot of the food seems gross. It’s easy to hate on Arby’s, but they have a few good dishes that hit the spot when you’re in the right mood (drunk or high). You’re going to tell me you don’t like a Beef and Cheddar with a side of curly fries? Get out of here.
That said, don’t ever eat chicken at Arby’s. It’s always awful. We could’ve picked any chicken dish for this list, but we’re going with the Chicken Slider.
The chicken is dry and stringy and it tastes like a mix of rancid oil and black pepper.
The Bottom Line:
Arby’s may “have the meats,” but chicken isn’t one of them.
Burger King — Fiery Mozzarella Fries
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
I desperately wanted this dish to be good. Fried mozzarella is fantastic, add a spicy element and this dish should have everything going for it, yet this is some of the worst mozzarella I’ve ever tasted. I’ve had this dish four times so far, and all four times the cheese hasn’t been fully melted. It’s just a thin, semi-soft strip of mozzarella encased in a soggy, spicy coating.
The Bottom Line:
A great idea, but until Burger King raises its quality control, this dish will suffer.
Carl’s Jr — Loaded Guacamole Bacon Fries
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
Trust me, I know that the Loaded Guacamole Bacon Fries sound like a great idea, but the execution here is awful. You’ve got Carl’s Jr’s fries, which are oily to the point of being soggy, shredded cheese, onion-heavy pico de gallo, crumbly salty bacon bits, and the worst guacamole you’ll ever taste.
There are a lot of ways to make guacamole. Carl’s Jr chooses to put more onion in this stuff than avocado, and that’s not the way to do it. The avocado used here aren’t great quality, this stuff always has a brownish hue to it, and it totally ruins the buttery savoriness we expect from guacamole.
Once all the ingredients are mixed, this becomes a mush of textures that is a true chore to eat.
The Bottom Line:
A great idea executed horribly.
Chick-fil-A — Kale Crunch Side
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
For an upcharge, you can sub your fries for a Kale Crunch salad which is probably the worst deal in all of fast food. The fact that you can’t get this without an upcharge adds insult to injury.
This dish — if we want to call it that — features a mix of kale, green cabbage, and almonds and is served with a side of Apple Cider and Dijon Mustard vinaigrette. I don’t want to sound like a complete nerd here, but you can tell this kale hasn’t been properly massaged. It’s rough, hard to chew, and tastes like dirt. It also totally dominates the palate, making your entire meal kind of taste like dirt.
Trust me, I’m not some kind of kale hater, I like kale, I just think this is the worst thing you can order at Chick-fil-A. I’m also confused about who it’s for. You’re trying to eat healthy at a Chick-fil-A? Was there not a Panera near by?
The Bottom Line:
Chick-fil-A’s menu is overall pretty solid, but the Kale Crunch Side feels like a real joke and an insult to its customers.
Chipotle — Queso Blanco
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
What disturbs me about the Queso Blanco is not the flavor — though I’m not fan of its heavily onion-y and salty flavor — but the fact that it’s still on the menu. Chipotle has already revamped this recipe once and while I’ll admit that the Queso Blanco today is the best its ever been, that’s really not saying much.
I’m not sure where Chipotle went wrong either, this is certainly made with a good set of ingredients. You’ve got Monterey Jack, cheddar, chili peppers, and onion, and yet onion is all this tastes like. You’re not getting any of the creamy, sweet, or nutty qualities of the cheese,which leads me to believe taht this is some seriously low quality cheese.
The Bottom Line:
A cheese dip that is more onion than cheese. In other words, a bad cheese dip.
Dairy Queen — Pretzel Sticks With Zesty Queso
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
If you’re getting anything from Dairy Queen that isn’t a dessert, there is a good chance its awful, but since this is a list of the absolute worst menu items, I’m going to have to go with the Pretzel Sticks with Zesty Queso.
The pretzel is as dry as a bone, and the zesty queso is pure salt. I’d suggest you just dip you r pretzel stick in a Blizzard for a better experience, but I think that would honestly ruin your Blizzard. Skip this at all costs.
The Bottom Line:
It’s like eating a piece of (mostly rotten) wood.
Dave’s Hot Chicken — Mac and Cheese
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
Finding a bad menu option at Dave’s was hard. The chicken is great and the fries are decent, the only thing on the menu that ever feels like a disappointment is the mac and cheese. It tastes right, the noodles still have some bite and the cheese is salty with a hint of smokiness and a touch of spice. It’s just a bit too soupy. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think less cheese sauce would do a lot to make this dish a little better.
The Bottom Line:
Take this choice with a grain of salt, Dave’s Hot Chicken’s mac and cheese is good enough, but it’s also the worst thing on the menu.
Del Taco — Crispy Chicken
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
I love Del Taco, next to El Pollo Loco it’s the best Mexican-inspired fast food chain. That said, the chicken tenders (which shouldn’t even be on the menu) are some of the worst in all of fast food.
This chicken is awful, it’s overprocessed and chewy and the breading doesn’t properly adhere to the meat, so when you bite into it the meat slips out of its fried sleeve. If that sounded gross to you, good, it was supposed to.
The Bottom Line:
Avoid Del Taco’s Crispy Chicken at all costs, including when it’s served in a taco, which is an option. Tortilla and fried chicken? Get out of here.
KFC — Mac & Cheese
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
This is a controversial choice because I know there are a handful of people out there who go for the mac & cheese as their go-to side order, to which I have to ask: why? I sincerily mean it, why would anyone order this? It’s not only the worst mac & cheese in all of fast food, it may be some of the worst mac & cheese I’ve ever had.
The noodles are so soggy they dissolve in your mouth, the cheese is salty, with little dimension or nuance. This is essentially a cheese dip! Fast food brands wonder how to get customers back, there are probably board meetings where people are getting paid thousands of dollars to come up with sh*t like the Ch’izza (if it wasn’t a limited-time option, it would be on this list) when all they really need to do is give us better quality, better-tasting food.
The Bottom Line:
One of the reasons this article exists in the first place. Never order this stuff if you have any respect for your tastebuds.
In-N-Out — Grilled Cheese
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it before — “the fries at In-N-Out are terrible.” I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. If you have a problem with freshly cut potatoes fried to order the issue is not the fries, its you.
I’m saving all my ire for the secret menu item Grilled Cheese. I get it, In-N-Out needs a dish for the vegetarians, and all with all due respect to my non-meat-eating friends I gotta tell you — maybe In-N-Out just isn’t for you.
This Grilled Cheese has everything that’s great about an In-N-Out cheeseburger, minus the star ingredient: the beef. Without the beef this dish is a mess. Too much bread, not enough cheese, and the rest of the ingredients just taste weird when they don’t have a beef patty to support them.
The Bottom Line:
A dish designed for vegetarians, who would better be served by just finding a different place to eat.
Jack in the Box — Chick-N-Tater Melt
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
What the f*ck is this monstrosity?! I don’t know that whoever is in charge of the menu at Jack in the Box spends all their time getting super high and then thinking of dishes, but I’m willing to bet money that that’s exactly what they do.
This dish is a stoner’s dream, “what if there was like, a croissant, but it’s filled with hashbrowns, and chicken, and bacon? Oh, and Swiss cheese, and ranch, and white cheddar sauce. Oh and cheddar cheese too!” Biting into this sandwich is hell on earth. It’s a mix of blown-out flavors, it is salty, texturally all over the place, sour, and tangy, it’s just awful!
There is no nuance to this dish, no complexity, and yes, I’m aware we are talking about fast food here, but the way the flavors here hit your taste buds like a sledgehammer is truly one of the worst sensations I’ve ever experienced eating fast food.
The Bottom Line:
Even if you’re stoned, do yourself and your stomach a favor and don’t eat this.
McDonald’s — Sausage Burrito
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
McDonald’s has a near-impeccable menu. Most of the food has its die-hard fans, people love the Big Mac, the nuggets, the fries, the McMuffin, even the value menu Double Cheeseburger has people who swear by it. I challenge you to find me someone who feels that way about the Sausage Burrito.
This thing is awful. Its loaded up with dry sausage, a very small amount of onions, funky eggs, and peppers that have a nice vegetal flavor, but are used so sparingly they come across like a mistake, rather than a feature of the burrito. On top of that, McDonald’s adds a slice of American cheese into this burrito, which is straight up insulting.
The Bottom Line:
McDonald’s may be the only brand to f*ck up a burrito.
Popeyes — Coleslaw
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
Coleslaw is easily Popeyes’ weakest side item, and keep in mind that one of the sides at Popeyes is just a single jalapeño pepper. I rather have a single pepper than eat this stuff.
This coleslaw is incredibly sour and rarely crunchy and fresh. It’s maybe the worst coleslaw side I’ve ever tasted at any fast food restaurant.
The Bottom Line:
Skip this one, any other Popeyes side would serve you way better.
Rally’s — Grilled Hot Dog
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
Oh come on Rally’s, you’re making this too easy for me. I mean, do I really even need to say anything here? Don’t order the Grilled Hot Dog at Rally’s. There is nothing special about this, it’s a mediocre hot dog, you’ve probably had a million of those at a backyard BBQ, don’t spend more than a few dollars for one.
If you must have a hot dog for some reason, at least go for the Chili Cheese Dog, which is loaded with chili, cheese, and chopped red onions.
The Bottom Line:
If you’re ordering a hot dog at Rally’s, you’re not fast fooding right.
Shake Shack — Fries
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
I’m going to get a lot of shit for this considering I gave a pass to In N Out fries, but you know what? Bring it on. Shake Shack fries are some of the worst. These awful fries don’t taste much different than the crinkle-cut fries you’d find in the freezer aisle at your local market.
The exterior is sharp and hard enough to cut the roof of your mouth, which you’ll become aware of as the salt on these over-salted spuds begins to sting you. Even the cheese fries aren’t much of an improvement. Sure it sogs up the fries a bit, but the sauce is movie-theater quality bad. Plus, the last thing these fries need is more salt.
The Bottom Line:
I will never stop complaining about Shake Shack’s fries, they are a stain on an otherwise impeccable menu.
Sonic — Grilled Cheese Sandwich
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
Okay, here is the deal — it’s not that Sonic’s grilled cheese is bad it’s just boring. Sonic has all sorts of great sides and main dishes, why would you ever order a grilled cheese when you could get jalapeño poppers or mozzarella sticks? Those aren’t just better delivery systems for cheese, the cheese in them is also significantly better.
If you like American cheese and grilled Texas Toast it’s safe to say you’ll like this, but just buy some bread and cheese at home and make your own, it’ll probably taste a thousand times better.
The Bottom Line:
It’s a grilled cheese… what are you doing fam?
Subway — The Great Garlic
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
Oh wow is this sandwich bad. The Great Garlic features rotisserie chicken, bacon, provolone, lettuce, tomato, and red onions smothered in a creamy roasted garlic aioli but it almost doesn’t matter what’s in it because all you’re going to taste is garlic.
The garlic aioli is extremely bitter, blunt, and pungent, completely dominating the entire sandwich. Even the biggest garlic lovers wouldn’t like this sandwich. If you like garlic this much, you’re better served roasting a whole clove and squeezing it in your mouth.
The Bottom Line:
This is truly the worst sandwich at Subway, which is saying a lot considering most of the menu is objectively awful.
Taco Bell — Veggie Bowl
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
Three years ago, when I wrote an article similar to this one, I named Taco Bell’s Nachos Bell Grande as the brand’s worst menu option. I got a lot of sh*t from that from both readers and my editor and while I’ll stand by my feelings that the Nachos Bell Grande are awful, I’d be lying if I didn’t say the Veggie Bowl was worst.
I’m all for the idea of the Veggie Bowl, its the execution I have a problem with. This is one of the worst mix of ingredients of any dish, ever. Here we have watery, soggy, wilted lettuce, hard lifeless cabbage, Pico de Gallo made with tomatoes devoid of flavor, awful pre-shredded cheddar cheese, the driest rice on Earth and decent black beans.
No other order at Taco Bell feels more like of a waste of money than this one.
The Bottom Line:
Taco Bell, no one is pressuring you to offer this dish. It’s a waste of the plastic its served in.
Wendy’s — Baconator Fries
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
Finding a bad menu option at Wendy’s was tough, I think the fast food chain is one of the best and they do just about everything on their menu pretty well. Except for the Baconator Fries.
In general, Wendy’s fries aren’t great. They have this bitter flavor to them; they’re often soggy and always over-salted. On top of the fries, you’ve got one slice of American cheese just thrown right in the middle of the fries, rather than distributed, and not nearly enough bacon to earn the “Baconator” name.
The Bottom Line:
Skip this dish and just order a baked potato with cheese.
White Castle — Chicken Rings
Thoughts & Tasting Notes:
I mean, do I need to say anything? Even the name turns my stomach. These highly processed chicken… rings are garlicky, with a touch of vinegar and a spicy aftertaste. The seasoning is fine, what I have an issue with is the texture of the meat and the overall shape of the dish. Why not take this same seasoning blend and make onion rings? Why does it have to be chicken? Fast food rarely makes me mad, but this dish drives me up a wall.
The Bottom Line:
Chicken. Rings. Need we say more?
