Listen: my editor, Steve? He has a lot of ideas. Often I’m not thrilled about having to carry them out. And coming off the success of our experiment to find the best way to cook a hot dog, he wondered, “what about mustard?”
I had to admit that it made a sick sort of sense. If we were going to spend hours trying to rank the best hot dogs (I would’ve called it a “franking”), and then the best way to cook said hot dogs, surely we could devote some time to finding the best version of the most popular hot dog condiment to put on the dogs, right?
Sure, but there are so many mustards. Dijon mustard, brown mustard, deli-style mustard, English mustard, Chinese mustard… the list goes on. I haven’t even gotten to the flavored ones yet. So I decided to limit this tasting to yellow, American-style mustards — presumably the go-to mustard for American-style hot dogs (yellow mustard is also great in tuna salad, on a Cuban sandwich, in deviled eggs). Yet even narrowing the search down to just one style, I still found 18 different versions of American-style mustard. The USA may not lead the world in life expectancy, quality of life, or vacation time, but damned if you can’t find a wealth of condiments here.
18 iterations is a lot to taste of anything but especially in a category as narrow as “yellow mustard.” To a certain extent, they all tasted… pretty much the same. But they’re also a bit like anything else you might sample 18 iterations of. At first, they seem indistinguishable, and then you sample a few, and pretty quickly you find that you have favorites and least favorites just like with anything else.
The Test
As much as I sort of wanted to, I didn’t dip hot dogs in any of these or test them with food, because that only confuses the issue when you’re trying to evaluate for sight, smell, and taste. So I just ate plain mustard off a spoon. It was a little weird, but not that weird. It’s not like I was gulping down full tablespoons, just sampling.
For what it’s worth, I didn’t really have anything I was “looking for” in a mustard, I kind of just went in open to any possibilities and chose my favorite. Not surprisingly, they were a lot more similar than they were different. They all had a combination of mustard seed and white vinegar, with a few spices thrown in for good measure — commonly turmeric and paprika (as much for color as anything else), with the occasional garlic product, outliers like cinnamon or nutmeg, and the ever-mysterious “natural flavors and spices.”
My reactions were always more about balance than anything else — there’s no secret magic ingredient you can look for and know the mustard is going to be good, as far as I could tell.
The Lineup:
- Trader Joe’s Organic Yellow Mustard
- French’s Creamy Yellow Mustard Spread
- 365 Organic Yellow Mustard
- Good & Gather Organic Yellow Mustard
- Signature Select Fat Free Traditional Yellow Mustard
- True Made Foods Yellow Mustard With Hidden Veggies
- Market Pantry Yellow Mustard
- O Organics Yellow Mustard
- Suzie’s Organic Yellow Mustard
- Great Value Organic Yellow Mustard
- French’s True Organics Classic Yellow Mustard
- Sunny Select Yellow Mustard
- Sprouts Creamy Yellow Mustard
- Sir Kensington’s Yellow Mustard
- Trader Joe’s Dill Pickle Mustard
- Heinz Yellow Mustard
- Great Value Yellow Mustard
- Sprouts Organic Creamy Yellow Mustard
18. True Made Foods Yellow Mustard With Hidden Veggies (Sample 14)
Price: $4.99 for 12 ounces at Sprouts
Original Notes:
This one is more of an orange-yellow. On the nose, it’s not as vinegary and pungent as some of the others. It feels like there might be… a veggie note in there? Carrot, maybe? Yeah, this is definitely earthy tasting, like carrots/beets/turmeric. Turmeric might account for the orangeness. I’m not a fan; this is just bitter where it should be bracing.
Rating: 3/10
Bottom Line:
This is the kind of tasting that makes a person doubt their senses many times, but I now feel good and confident in my ability to detect “hidden” veggies. Honestly, how much mustard are you eating for the minuscule quantities of veggies here to have any effect on your diet? This must be a product for those people with the kind of brain disorder where they can only eat corndogs or whatever.
As long as you’re using yellow mustard in normal yellow mustard situations I think you can safely skip this one and get you some regular yellow mustard.
17. Market Pantry Yellow Mustard (Sample 15)
Price: $0.65 for eight ounces at Target.
Original Notes:
This one is a lighter yellow, more towards that Grey Poupon color than yellow or brown mustard. On the nose, more towards the mustard seed than vinegar spectrum. This comes on nice and vinegary, but there’s an earthy note at the end that I don’t like at all. You’re not supposed to eat yellow mustard raw, sure, but I also don’t ever hear people say “I want to like this mustard, but it’s just not bitter enough.”
Rating:
3.5/10
Bottom Line:
This one lists turmeric as the fifth ingredient, which may explain the bitterness. Presumably, you add turmeric more for the color than the flavor, and maybe this one overdid it? For 65-cent mustard, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever tasted. And given turmeric’s supposed anti-inflammatory qualities, that at least makes more sense than “hidden veggies.”
Maybe double down on the turmeric and advertise it that way? Dunno, just spitballin’ here.
16. Trader Joe’s Dill Pickle Mustard (Sample 6)
Price: $1.99 for nine ounces at Trader Joe’s.
Original Notes:
This is slightly darker, with some speckles. On the nose, I’m 90% sure this is the dill pickle one because it smells just like dill pickles. I’m pretty sure I’m right about that so I’m going to proceed as such. It definitely tastes exactly like what it says it is — pickles and mustard. If you want that, great. I feel like I’d rather just eat the pickle than this.
Pickles crunch. “Pickle flavor” is mostly just salt.
Rating:
4/10
Bottom Line:
This is technically flavored mustard, and it only snuck in here because I didn’t notice when I grabbed it off the shelf. Anyway, this is good at being what it says it is, I’m just not sure what it says it is is a thing the world needs. It’s never going to replace actual pickles for me, because, like I said, the crunch/fresh element of a pickle is like 80% of why I would ever put pickles on anything.
This lacks that. And so… why? But hey, whatever tickles your pickle, I guess.
15. Sir Kensington’s Yellow Mustard (Sample 5)
Price: $4.99 for nine ounces at Sprouts.
Original Notes:
This one doesn’t spread out as much, there’s some body there. It’s a very shiny, bright yellow. There’s a powderiness to this one, where you can sense the actual mustard powder more on the tongue. There’s something else in there too — I think. I saw turmeric on the labels of one of these, that might be it. Something root-y? I don’t know that it makes it “better” tasting though.
There’s a sightly bitter note at the end (albeit really slight). I like the way this looks more than it tastes.
Rating:
6/10
Bottom Line:
Being the obnoxious snob that I am, Sir Kensington’s packaging and price tag always appealed to me. Gimme that top hat shit, none of that riff-raff peasant mustard for my tube steak, oh no no. I always wondered if the stuff inside matched the packaging, and, well, I guess I found out.
It does not. This is charlatan mustard!
14. Great Value Yellow Mustard (Sample 8)
Price: $1.00 for 20 ounces at Walmart
Original Notes:
This is an ever-so-slightly orangier yellow, with a decent amount of body. The nose is weirdly weak, but there’s definitely white vinegar in there. On the palate, this one has a nice sharp “sting” to it, but a slightly bitter aftertaste. Meh.
Rating:
6/10
Bottom Line:
It’s very cheap and tastes like what it is. On the one hand, it’s not that much worse than the ones at the top of the list, but on the other, it’s not that much cheaper either. I’m okay paying one dollar more for something just a smidge better.
13. French’s Creamy Yellow Mustard Spread (Sample 10)
Price: $3.99 for 12 ounces at SaveMart
Original Notes:
This one clearly has the most body. It coils without settling, which is slightly… unnerving? On the nose, it’s sweet and vinegary. On the palate, this one definitely lacks some of the vinegary bite of some of the others. It doesn’t hit you in the cheeks in the same way. It’s definitely a deliberate choice and while I’m sure there’s a use for it, I kind of miss the tang? Mustard ain’t right unless it’s got that bite, baby.
Rating:
7/10
Bottom Line:
What I missed in this one, the more vinegary bite, is actually the selling point of these new “creamy” style mustard spreads. Like I said above, it’s fine but I like more bite. I don’t necessarily need my mustard to be creamy, that’s what mayo is for. Maybe this is for the mayo haters.
12. Signature Select Fat Free Traditional Yellow Mustard (Sample 13)
Price: $3.39 for 20 ounces at Von’s/Safeway.
Original Notes:
Bright vivid yellow, sort of a full-bodied purée texture. Again, pretty hard to detect much on the nose beyond white vinegar. This is tangy, with a nice vinegar balance, though there’s a little bit of an aftertaste of something I don’t love.
Rating:
7/10
Bottom Line:
The majority of these entries came in around a seven rating — being good but not great. This is fine if one of the better options isn’t available.
11. French’s True Organics Classic Yellow Mustard (Sample 2)
Price: $4.29 at SaveMart
Original Notes:
This one is brighter in color and creamier in texture. The vinegar on the nose is there, but softer somehow. This one is on the sweeter/more vinegary side. Less pungent, but thinner somehow. It’s fine.
Rating:
7/10
Bottom Line:
This is fine.
10. Trader Joe’s Organic Yellow Mustard (Sample 1)
Price: $1.69 for nine ounces at Trader Joe’s.
Original Notes:
This one is a darker yellow (for a yellow mustard), and ever so slightly grainy in texture. The nose is very vinegar/mustardy (duh), not much else detectable. On the palate, it has a nice sweet tang, with maybe a little savory note in there. Tastes like… mustard.
Rating:
7.25/10
Bottom Line:
I’m definitely not making a special trip to Trader Joe’s for the mustard, but if you’re already there this one is perfectly passable.
9. Sprouts Creamy Yellow Mustard (Sample 4)
Price: $2.49 for 20 ounces at Sprouts.
Original Notes:
Smooth and shiny in appearance, a medium yellow. The nose is vinegar-heavy. I like the vinegar/mustard balance on this one, though it’s hard to articulate why. It feels… I don’t know, balanced (I am very smart).
There is a vague vegetable oil note to this one though.
Rating:
7.25/10
Bottom Line:
Again, a very fine if unspectacular yellow mustard that is perfect if you are already in a Sprouts. It doesn’t actually list oil in the ingredients, so I don’t know what I was tasting there.
8. 365 Organic Yellow Mustard (Sample 11)
Price: $3.29 for 14 ounces.
Original Notes:
This one is darker, almost brown. Fuller bodied but with less structure than a few of them. Very vinegary on the nose. On the palate, it’s again, very vinegar-heavy, leaving less room for the mustard seed. I kind of like it though, it gives it a nice kick.
Rating:
7.5/10
Bottom Line:
This is a perfectly cromulent mustard if you happen to be in a Whole Foods.
7. Great Value Organic Yellow Mustard (Sample 18)
Price: $1.78 for eight ounces at Walmart.
Original Notes:
This is a very gold yellow, smooth in texture with medium body. Standard vinegar/mustard nose, not super strong. This is sweet on the palate, not as bracing and sharp as some, but not earthy or bitter either. Standard.
Rating:
7.5/10
Bottom Line:
This is a lot more expensive than its non-organic Great Value brother, and it turns out, tastes a lot better too. That doesn’t always happen, but it’s nice when things make sense. Makes a man feel whole.
6. Sunny Select Yellow Mustard (Sample 3)
Price: $1.99 for 14 ounces at SaveMart.
Original Notes:
This one is a slightly darker yellow, smooth, but seems to have more body to it. On the nose it isn’t very pungent, seems more mustardy than vinegary. On the palate, this one has another flavor in there, something more umami to cut the tang. I’m not sure what it is though because it’s… you know, mustard.
From my notes: “Less sharp.”
Rating:
7.5/10
Bottom Line:
The ingredients include vinegar, water, mustard seed, salt, turmeric, paprika, the same basic stuff as all the others, so I don’t know what I thought I was tasting in there. This one has probably the most generic packaging of all the mustards and yet it almost snuck into the top five. Books, covers, etc. Never judge a condiment by its packaging, always read the article on Uproxx.com first.
5. Good & Gather Organic Yellow Mustard (Sample 12)
Price: $1.79 for nine ounces.
Original Notes:
Another fuller-bodied one, still yellow but inching ever so slightly towards the browner end of the spectrum, at least for yellow mustards. On the nose it smells like… yep, white vinegar. On the palate, this one has a nice balance. It’s sharp without bitter notes while giving me a sense of the mustard powder too.
Good, but also hard to distinguish between the other good ones. It’s ever so slightly chalky.
Rating:
7.75/10
Bottom Line:
Pretty solid mustard for a Target store brand. Definitely pick up one of these next time you’re buying t-shirts to paint in or diapers or detergent or replacement iphone cables or dog food or whatever.
4. O Organics Yellow Mustard (Sample 16)
Price: $2.89 for eight ounces at Von’s/Safeway
Original Notes:
This one is medium to orange-y yellow, and some of the thickest. It’s very full-bodied and extremely smooth on the surface, like soft-serve ice cream. There’s some very bracing white vinegar on the nose, in a pleasing way. On the palate it tastes… like good solid yellow mustard. Is there a vague citrus in this? It’s not bad necessarily, but there’s a lemony note in there.
Rating:
8.25/10
Bottom Line:
I don’t see any citrus in the ingredients, so I don’t know what exactly I was tasting there (citrus and vinegar can be pretty similar) but again, anything in the top five here is definitely worth picking up.
3. Heinz Yellow Mustard (Sample 7)
Price: $2.49 for 14 ounces at Von’s.
Original Notes:
This one doesn’t spread much. It’s light goldenrod in color. Very vinegary on the nose and nicely pungent. There’s a strong sense of mustard powder on the tongue — this is mustardy mustard, if I can say that, which I like.
Rating:
8.5/10
Bottom Line:
Those condiment kings at Heinz have done it again! Honestly, I always sort of assumed Heinz was popular because of that easy name and handsome packaging, so it’s interesting to see it take third in a blind taste test. All the ingredients are basically the same as everything else, though it does list “natural flavors and spices,” which is a little cryptic.
“Don’t worry, baby, it’s natural.”
2. Sprouts Organic Creamy Yellow Mustard (Sample 9)
Price: $2.49 for eight ounces at Sprouts.
Original Notes:
Bright vibrant yellow, very smooth in texture, medium body. Looks basically like what I think of when I imagine what a yellow mustard looks like. Pungent white vinegar/mustard on the nose. Again, exactly what I’d imagine. On the palate, this one hits me right in the cheeks with the vinegar, but on the palate I mostly get mustard. It’s not too harsh or bitter… Mostly feels like the platonic ideal of mild yellow mustard.
Rating:
9/10
Bottom Line:
There were three “creamy” style yellow mustards in the competition, including a French’s creamy mustard spread and this one’s non-organic brother, neither of which ranked as highly as this one. Both the Sprouts versions look basically the same, ingredients-wise, other than one being organic, while the French’s has canola oil and garlic powder. Now you can regale someone at a cocktail party with this information. You’re welcome!
Anyway, this was good mustard.
1. Suzie’s Organic Yellow Mustard (Sample 17)
Price: $3.29 for eight ounces at Sprouts or SaveMart.
Original Notes:
This is the first or second thickest of the bunch, it didn’t settle really at all. The exterior is slightly grainy and it’s medium yellow. Vinegar and mustard on the nose. On the palate, there’s a pleasing sharpness and a mix of sweet and vinegar. It tastes quite good, actually, with a nice balance.
Something about this makes me want to go back and have more.
Rating:
9.5/10
Bottom Line:
It’s rare that this happens, but the mustard with arguably the nicest-looking packaging takes this round. The only outlier ingredient in this one is “dehydrated garlic,” which I didn’t detect when I was smelling or tasting, but I suppose does track as that ineffable “something extra” that made this one just a little bit better than the others.
