It began when “Weapon XI” and Wolverine faced off in X-Men Origins: Wolverine (assuming the movie even happened, which it didn’t), and continued with Deadpool, when the Merc with a Mouth broke the fourth wall to say, “You’re probably thinking, ‘Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie?’ I can’t tell you his name, but it rhymes with ‘Polverine.’ And let me tell you, he’s got a nice pair of smooth criminals down under.”
The Smooth Criminal finally fired back on Thursday, the same day Reynolds was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (probably for his career-best work in National Lampoon’s Van Wilder). “[Reynolds] asked me to post this 100% real video by him on being honored with a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame today,” Jackman wrote on Instagram, speaking as Reynolds.
“You may remember me from such things as People Magazine’s 2010 Sexiest Man Alive or the 12th best DC Comics movie Green Lantern. Who would have thought just three years after getting a star on Canada’s Walk of Fame, I would be getting a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame. Yep, I now join the ranks of other great Canadians such as William Shatner, Leslie Nelson, and Tommy Chong.
How could a guy who failed his high school drama class be this talented? I have no answer for that. But to quote my favorite actor in the world, the great Australian Hugh Jackman, who, by the way, was People’s Sexiest Man Alive way before me, ‘Americans are the most generous country on the planet.’
So, thank you, America, and feel free to urinate on my section of the sidewalk.”
It looks like the only way Reynolds and Jackman can settle this feud is with a Dawn of Justice-style rumble, except with more bodily fluids.