A Lisa Frank Movie Is Coming Because ’90s Kids Still Run The World

If you have continued to maintain your childhood fascination with unicorns, school supplies, and fun, then Hollywood is ready to speak to you by way of a Lisa Frank movie that will be part animation, part live-action, and all rainbow mania.

Frank made a statement via the Hollywood Reporter touting the project, which she’s co-producing with Before I Fall producer Jon Shestack:

“I have always wanted to do a feature film that brings the world of Lisa Frank to life,” said Frank, in an announcement. “We have so much backstory on our characters and they have been alive in my imagination since the beginning.”

I really want to make a snarky remark about the origins of cat with guitar and sunglasses (how’d he get those sunglasses!? Cat’s don’t wear sunglasses!) because I’m Hep Bloggerman Jr., chief sh*tuponer of all ’90s fixations besides my own. But…maybe this won’t suck or merely serve as an advertisement for pencil pouches with smiling seals on them.

Hollywood can Hollywood the hell out of the strangest things. As a for instance: an emoji movie starring Patrick Stewart as the voice of the poop emoji is coming round the mountain and Disney turned a decrepit theme park ride into a billion-dollar franchise with Pirates of the Caribean. Why can’t someone spin a thrilling tale off of a folder with three dolphins swimming under a beach ball sun? We know Mila Kunis is into it (no we don’t, but here she is in a Lisa Frank commercial from childhood days. Trivia!).

While the capacity to make an entertaining family friendly feature out of smiling tigers does exist, I have to admit that when I saw the words “Lisa Frank Movie” on Twitter, I wondered if we were in for a Joy-esque look into the mind of the woman who started a stationary empire with the force of her imagination and an affection for the color magenta. But this ain’t gonna be that. And that might be a shame.

Based on the allegations levied by former employees and the tales of marital troubles and court entanglements contained within this searing Jezebel report from 2013, it seems like a very different kind of Lisa Frank movie could be constructed. One that has the ingredients to be a Scorseseian tale of glory earned and lost that would win all the awards and make all the critics swoon. That kind of thing would have fewer puppies playfully pouncing on clouds, though.