Guys, I feel ashamed. You see, there was a time where I kept up with everything Kat Von D. No little bit of Kat Von D news escaped me. I was fascinated with her relationship with Jesse James. I imagined them regularly having anal sex on a bed of nails shaped like a swastika. I imagined her vagina to be like a Venus Flytrap, capable of ripping off a man’s genitals on a whim, perhaps if she ever found herself not pleased by a man in bed.
So I feel like such a failure having not known that Kat Von D and Deadmau5 were dating, which apparently they were, and are now engaged, having become so over Twitter this past weekend.
It all happened so fast, with the DJ famous for wearing a giant mouse head tweeting, “I can’t wait for Christmas so… Katherine Von Drachenberg, will you marry me?” He attached a photo of the ring…
Von D responded soon thereafter, tweeting, “Mi corazon [my heart]!!! Thank you all for the lovely congratulations! Please excuse me while I go squeeze the hell out of my fiance!” And by “squeeze” I’m sure she meant “put his pimply balls in a vice.” True love!
In case you were wondering, Jesse James recently became engaged to a drag racer, so he seems to be doing just fine.
(Via Spinner. Pic via Deadmau5’s Facebook)
