Let Fifth Harmony Make It Clear Why Group Texts Aren’t Worth It (And Awful) By Singing One Out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPhKkkqzOTw

Group messages, especially the kind where everyone’s trying to find a time to get together to hang out, are often so tedious that they could inhabit an entire circle of hell unto themselves. Imagine an afterlife in which sinners spend an eternity trying to make dinner happen for five people only to be met with crushing disappointment and frustration when no one knows their schedule, can decide on a restaurant, or doesn’t think they have to cancel (if they’re going to cancel) until the last minute.

Fortunately, Fifth Harmony — the singing group who brought you the earworm “Worth It” — are here to make it crystal clear why group messages are bad news and bad business. Appearing on an episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the group came out (in outfits that could only be described as a tribute to The Village People?) and sang the entirety of an actual group text about “getting dinner next week.”

It’s a short, but poignant clip, and watching it twice made me cringe so hard that my shoulders may be permanently stuck to the back of my neck. Congratulations, Fifth Harmony, you’ve effectively scared me off group texts for life. From now on I’m sending an email, letting people know where I’ll be and seeing who can make it instead of trying to organize a ten-person outing to Chili’s on a Tuesday night.