Love him or hate him, Riff Raff is one fascinating dude. Real name Horst Simco, the Houston-based rapper made a name for himself on the national level as a contestant on MTV’s hilariously dumb reality series From G’s to Gents, on which he was booted after the second episode. His bizarre style and unique appearance have led to him becoming a YouTube star and self-proclaimed Neon Icon, and it didn’t hurt that he had a little thing with Katy Perry earlier this year. But more than anything, this is simply a dude who knows how to market himself, and his latest schemes are sure to make the interwebs buzz.
While his online merchandise shop is filled with most of the usual items – t-shirts, cell phone cases, socks, hoodies with an image of Riff Raff taking a bubble bath, etc. – the rapper has taken things a step further by offering his presence in our otherwise boring lives. It all begins with the woman who brought you into this world, as Riff Raff will call your mom for $500.
Is a phone call too impersonal for yo mama? He’ll also Skype with your parents or grandparents for a few extra dollars ($1,250 to be exact), or he’ll sketch you a tattoo for $2,200. The best value, in my opinion, involves allowing Riff Raff to name your puppy for $500. He’ll share a picture of your pooch on Instagram and help make it a star.
At least two special ideas have been scrubbed from his merch store in the last hour, though. The banner image came from a package that had Riff Raff coming to your home for dinner (price tag $4,500) and he also made himself available for bachelor parties for $6,000. Riff Raff’s marketing manager Mychael Clack told BuzzFeed, however, that more packages are being added to the store later tonight, so if you had your heart set on eating Mac & Cheese or taquitos with this multi-tasking superstar, just be patient and your dreams may still come true.
