President Donald Trump recently announced that Gen. John Kelly was officially on his way out as White House Chief of Staff, after months and months of rumors that the relationship between the two had soured. On one hand, Trump must be relieved that Kelly will no longer be around to tell him “no,” but on the other — much like hosting the 2019 Oscars — literally no one wants the job.
Enter, professional troll Piers Morgan. The Good Morning Britain host penned a lengthy column for The Daily Mail on Tuesday, outlining the reasons why he thinks he would be an ideal pick for Trump’s next chief of staff. First and foremost, Morgan cites his victory of the seventh season of Celebrity Apprentice in 2008 as reason that he’s more than qualified for the job:
When you made me your first Celebrity Apprentice a decade ago, you told me in the live NBC finale: ‘Piers, you’re a vicious guy. I’ve seen it. You’re tough. You’re smart. You’re probably brilliant, I’m not sure. You’re certainly not diplomatic. But you did an amazing job and you beat the hell out of everybody – you’re my Celebrity Apprentice.’
In case anyone might think his proposition is in jest, it would appear that he actually is 100 percent serious. Morgan goes on to list 10 reasons why he thinks he’d make an ideal Chief of Staff, with suggestions of ways to improve Trump’s image with everything from reviewing his tweets to stop feuding with CNN and the media.
You need to stop your silly war with CNN. I know some of my former colleagues have become annoyingly (and in my view, unfairly) partisan against you, and that bashing them goes down well with your base. But it’s such a waste of time and energy, and constantly calling them ‘enemy of the people’ is downright dangerous. CNN has received bombs and death threats. This feud is not a joke now, it’s deadly serious. I know how the media works better than anyone you’ve had around you. Trust me when I tell you this is a war you no longer need to wage.
Furthermore, Morgan claims that he would take the job for free, or even, “I’d literally pay to work for you.” Honestly, it wouldn’t be the strangest thing to come out of the Trump presidency, by far, so why not give the guy a shot. They certainly can’t do much worse at this point, anyway.
(Via Daily Mail)