Previously on the Ins and Outs of AEW Dynamite: AEW offered you Double Your Money Or None Of It with a new Women’s Champion, the crowning of the first TNT Champion, and a Stadium Stampede so good “match of the year” reads like an understatement.
And now, the Ins and Outs of All Elite Wrestling Dynamite for May 27, 2020.
All In: Say Yeah
After helping bring tag team wrestling back to WWE through NXT only to go to Raw, get injured, shave each other’s backs, scoot around on their butts like uncomfortable dogs because they got Usos-branded Icy Hot on their balls, get the shit beaten out of them by last year’s WrestleCon lineup as a celebratory joke, and fall down go boom because the deteriorating 74-year old man in charge of the company likes jokes for babies more than he likes pro wrestling, The Revival has finally, finally found something better to do.
Their debut comes after a fun show-opening trios match between the teams of Bad Boy Joey Janela and Private Party (aka “Bad Party”) and The Elite Adjacent, Broken Matt Hardy and the Bucks of Youth. It’s one of those bouts I hope they do again when there’s a full crowd, because they would’ve gone bonkers for it. Also, as far as I can tell the AEW version of Matt Hardy has a Dr. Manhattan thing going on where he sees the entire timeline of his life happening all at once, so he can transmogrify into any “Matt Hardy” he wants. Before this match, the Bucks actually get him to “try on” different personas, ultimately deciding they want to team with OMEGA superstar THE SURGE, hand gesture and all.
Anyway, Hardy and The Boyz win, and Matt helps an apparently injured Marq Quen to the back. That frees up the ring for an attack on the Bucks by the glow up (?) version of The Butcher and The Blade, decked out in their best post-Memorial Day whites. At some point their gimmick changed from Steampunk Leather Daddies to The Backstreet Boys in the ‘I Want It That Way’ video, with Allie going from a Fort Frolic splicer to Carlita Caribbean Cool. And I think she wants to hook up with QT Marshall due to their shared love of taking one bite out of an apple during wrestling shows? I don’t know. Anyway anyway, The Revival — now known as “FTR” under the names Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler so their first names sound like Ax and Smash from Demolition — show up in a ’62 Chevy pickup truck and head to the ring. It’s obvious that they’re going to attack the Bucks, so they attack Cousin Butcher and Cousin Luwuk instead.
— Dax FTR (@DaxHarwood) May 28, 2020
I think my favorite part of the debut (aside from it happening, and all the great tag team matches we’re about to get) is that FTR (no hashtag) took out The Blade with a spike piledriver. In case you weren’t aware, that was the signature finisher of The Brainbusters, Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard, and they’re using it to debut in the company where Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard work. Absolutely outstanding.
You know a quarter-hour worked when you leave it wanting to see everything again. I want more of The Revival in AEW, I want more Matt Hardy OMEGA tributes, I want more of Private Party and Joey Janela being buck wild in trios matches … hell, I want more of the Mr. Clean versions of The Butcher and The Blade. Really great way to open the show. Never again will I have to type, “Scott Dawson lost a 3-on-1 handicap match to Lucha House Party and is supposed to be the bad guy, somehow.” I can’t wait to see whether or not they can beat The Young Bucks at basketball.
Side note: As someone who loves Cody Rhodes, I can’t wait until FTR jumps him in the parking lot for that whole Fuck The Revival thing.
All In: Jon Moxley, Wild Card
Casino Ladder Match Novelty Poker Chip In The Bank winner Brian Cage makes his Dynamite debut by ending Lee Johnson’s whole career. Just a massive ass-whooping. Jon Moxley sits in on commentary in Charlie’s jacket from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, which feels closer to Dean Ambrose than Jon Moxley. Maybe it’s the hair? Can somebody cut Mox’s hair again so he stops pouring baby oil over his head and matting it down into thin-ass spit-curls?
After the match, Taz cuts a great promo about (1) how Brian Cage is a machine — this is the first I’m hearing about this — and (2) how at Fyter Fest, Cage is going to, “put his hand in your chest and pull your friggin’ heart out of your chest.” As long as he doesn’t kick his leg out of his leg, it should be fine. Cage getting the “win if you can, survive if I let you” catchphrase bequeathed to him by Taz is great, because that’s too good of a line to leave in storage, and Cage needs something to talk about beyond comparative machinery. I’m starting to feel like Cage is gonna take Mox to the woodshed at Fyter Fest. Anybody else?
All In: The Doctor Is In(sane)
Here we have Dr. Britt Baker DMD, with help from assistants Reba and Tony Schiavone, going full Chris Jericho conspiracy victim about her leg injury from last week. The general breakdown, no pun intended, is as follows:
- Kris Statlander is a liar — the exact quote is, “You being an alien is a crock of shit” — so she’s a conspirator
- Hikaru Shida carries around a weapon, so she’s a conspirator
- Nyla Rose is usually good at jumping off the top rope but wasn’t graceful while being indiscriminately slammed, so she’s a conspirator
- it all connects to referee Aubrey Edwards, who is always there when Britt loses or gets injured, except when she isn’t
And, for our second Charlie Kelly reference of the night,
What’s next, AEW instituting the “Wild Card” rule?
All In: The New Women’s Champion
Welcome to a new era of the AEW women’s division, where the champion is likable and comes to work every week! I like both Riho and Nyla Rose in certain contexts, but I’m not sure either of them ended up being very good champs. Riho never got a personality outside of occasionally tagging with Kenny Omega, and Rose just kinda yelled at people and licked her own hand. Shida’s proven to be a workhorse, especially during the pandemic, and is the kind of talent that gives you that joshi flavor of Riho and that hard-hitting style of Rose without any noticeable negatives. Hikaru Shida rules, is what I’m saying.
She breaks in her AEW Women’s Championship reign on Dynamite with a victory over AEW Dark star Christi Jaynes, in gear that (intentionally?) makes her look like she’s wearing a Price Is Right name tag. We’re at the point in 2020 where a wrestling promotion running a competitive, five-minute women’s division match without a bunch of bullshit poured all over it feels refreshing, so Jaynes being a low-level but effective heel while Shida finds her footing, executes, and closes the deal is a good time. Honestly, I kept expecting Charlotte Flair to do a run-in and hold up the belt.
The only part of the match that didn’t work for me was this very visible adjustment to get into position for the running knee, wherein Jaynes walks to the center of the ring on her knees and then for some reason sits down. It’s not a major thing in the least, but it reminded me of when someone who’s supposed to be knocked out scoots into position to take a move off the top. Shida cleaned her clock, though, so it’s all good.
All In: The Cody U.S. Open Challenge
Promo of the night goes to Cody Rhodes, who uses his stance as a former John Cena U.S. Open Challenge challenger to pay it forward and do a weekly open challenge for his newly won TNT Championship. Honestly, I could listen to Cody explain why wrestling shit is important all day. Send Cody out to cut a five minute promo on The International and I’m all ears.
Low key my favorite part was him talking about how he didn’t get the “dominant gene,” and how how “Dustin got all the Dusty,” and then they cut to Dustin staring up at him all stoic and Brandi happily rubbing Dustin on the shoulder. That’s familial love, right there. My least favorite part was, “Do you know why Tom Brady is my favorite quarterback?” Because,
Mostly In: The Battle Royal
I love battle royals. I loved THIS battle royal. I like Jungle Jack Perry Boy winning, even though I was rooting for Orange Cassidy. One thing, though … what’s the point of doing a battle royal to decide who gets a shot at the TNT Championship if you’re going to have the TNT Champion announce a weekly open challenge? Wouldn’t it be easier to just wait a week and not have to go through a battle royal first? Although now that I type that, wouldn’t some combination of MJF and Wardlow be constantly accepting the challenge to hurt and dethrone Cody? Cody’s made a lot of enemies. Maybe it should’ve been an open challenge with qualifiers? I don’t know, I’m still trying to figure out how wrestlers arrange to have their music played for run-ins and surprise appearances, and how John Cena got through several months of open challenges without a bunch of preemptive sign-ups and a queue you have to book a reservation for weeks in advance.
Small request: can we explain to Jim Ross that Sonny Kiss isn’t a woman before the next battle royal?
All In, And Then All Out: The Inner Circle Pep Rally, Or, “Mike Tyson’s WWE Greatest Hits”
First of all, they used an image of Vickie Guerrero with pom poms as the thumbnail for this clip but didn’t actually include any footage of it, which is probably a good idea. Vickie is near and dear to my heart and I always like seeing her, but it … wasn’t great.
Second of all, the Inner Circle being the Inner Circle is always good. Surprisingly it’s Jake Hager who steals the show this week, reading an also surprisingly well-written poem that starts off as Inner Circle promotion and ends with him quoting Taken and Tommy Boy and threatening to psychotically hunt and kill The Elite in real life. Coming in a close second place is Jericho being gifted a framed, black and white photo of singer Marc Anthony, of all people, and happily responding with, “MARC ANTHONY? HE’S MY HERO! MARC ANTHONY! MUY BUENO, MUY BUENO.”
Then there’s the Tyson stuff.
As previously mentioned and without unnecessarily going into it at length, I’m not a Mike Tyson fan. To write about him at all in an entertaining way I have to remember that the casual fan who might tune in to a wrestling show they never watch to see a boxer from 30 years ago who’s more of an ironic Adult Swim reference than a participant in modern popular culture is not my demographic.
I’m also going back and forth on how they ended Dynamite. In case you weren’t aware, Jericho brought up a 10-year old beef with Tyson from a “Guest Host” era episode of WWE Raw where Tyson betrayed him to side with the dorky old man version of D-Generation X and punched him in the face. This was oddly a followup to a moment from 12 years before THAT, where Tyson betrayed D-Generation X to side with his man Cold Stone at WrestleMania 14.
If you’ve never seen it, you can watch it below.
Tyson shows up with an entourage featuring Rashad Evans, Vitor Belfort, kayfabe inconsiderate Henry Cejudo, and, oddly, actor and Rebel Wilson’s ex-boyfriend Mickey Gooch. Words are exchanged between Tyson and Jericho, which turns into a shoving match, which turns into a pull-apart brawl. You may also recognize THIS as the same thing WWE did for the build to WrestleMania 14, with Tyson and Stone Cold Steve Austin getting into a shoving match and pull-apart.
Did they have Tyson do the two things he’d already done to make sure he’d remember what to do? I happily clap for the occasional old-ass Monday Nitro reference, sure, and I think I’ve exclusively loved everything Jericho’s done in AEW so far, but this specific brand of 50-year-olds redoing segments from 10-20 years ago in the main event is not my bag. Y’all trying to get booked in Saudi Arabia?
TL;DR: Wake me up when Mickey Rourke’s free to come back and wrestle Jericho as Randy the Ram. Or when Cesaro’s free from his WWE contact and can debut in AEW as Soda Popinski.
All In: Top 10 Comments Of The Week
And the Revolt immediately challenge the Bucks to 18 holes of golf
I cannot tell you how much I am in love with conspiracy victim Britt Baker right now. Jericho has a tear in his eye watching this.
If you play Aubrey’s 3 count backwards she says: “Join the Dark Order”
Dave M J
I will buy 1,000 of those Inner Circle Stadium Stampede shirts if Chris Jericho’s mystery opponent next week is a guy named Glass Joe, and he spends the next few weeks beating Punch Out wrestlers to get ready for Tyson.
Jake Hager’s gonna show up at all the Uproxx commenters’ houses like Jay and Silent Bob at the end of their Strike Back movie.
The Voice of Raisin
Matt Hardy might be the first wrestler in history to un-Jannetty himself.
The Real Birdman
Jake Hagar with the Tommy Boy threat has me reevaluating my opinion of him
Sammy, Hagar with good lyrics for once.
Dark Order hiring QT as their IT guy, cause they know he’s familiar with Apple.
Christie Jaynes should be the first female member of the Inner Circle. After all, she’s the master of a Brazilian holds.
That does it for this week’s column. Thanks for reading about Dynamite! It was a really good show this week AND pandered to casual fans, which means it’ll pull in 1/4 the rating of some terrible Smackdown. This is why we can’t have nice things.
Leave us a comment below, give the column a share on social media, and make sure you’re here next week for Cody Rhodes vs. Jackle Boy, a segment where Sammy Guevara rides his scooter through New York City while Chris Jericho jogs behind him, and more.