The Best And Worst Of NXT UK 10/24/18: Don’t Turn Your Back On The Wolfgang


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Previously on the Best and Worst of NXT UK: NXT launched a second brand, NXT UK, and I began my intimidating career as a weekly Britwres columnist. That definitely won’t lead to me getting called names on the Internet!

Disclaimer reprint from last week:

…. what I’m going to do with the NXT UK columns is treat it like a WWE show, and let my impressions and knowledge of the characters come from what I’m given on the show in matches, interviews, and video packages, and supplement that by asking my British wrestling savvy friends questions from time to time. If I get some stuff wrong or illogically dislike a person who is super good, trust me, I’ll figure it out.

If you missed this episode, you can watch it here. If you’d like to read previous installments of the Best and Worst of NXT, click right here. Follow With Spandex on Twitter and Facebook. You can also follow me on Twitter.

And now, the second edition of Best and Worst of NXT UK for October 24, 2018.

Worst Best: The Horniest Match In NXT

I wrote this about last week’s opener:

It sets the tone early, letting us know that WWE UK will probably be just like the NXT Domestic brand, with a little more emphasis on the in-ring competition and a little less of the insane characters. We don’t think about it a lot because the wrestling’s so good, but some of NXT’s top characters are a Dutch occultist who can teleport via Satanism, a genderqueer pansexual Prince who lives in his own mystical purple smoke dimension, a tiny Japanese woman who is somehow both a pirate AND a princess, and a 1950s housewife who is also a Marine.

So of course I’m almost immediately proven wrong by the week two opener, which pits a guy who clearly bought his gear pre-made on Highspots 17 years ago and never thought to update the look against THE WILD BOAR, who going forward I will only identify as “Hammy Callihan.” Seriously, one guy looks like he’s wearing a British-themed child’s flotation device on his face and he’s in there against the ugliest guy at the Fury Road-themed orgy.

If you aren’t familiar with these guys, El Ligero’s been wrestling for 17 years and his gimmick is “English guy, but actually a Mexican luchador,” so he is EXACTLY what would’ve happened if WWE had signed El Generico and put him on TV as “El Generico.” It’s one of those things that works really well at local shows, and kinda looks ridiculous when you put it on television, unless someone who isn’t 14 years old and reporting in from 1997 thinks those inflatable Psicosis horns are cool. And yes, I’m typing out these jokes like I’m not super into watching British El Generico fight Welsh Rhyno in the train station to Hell.

Anyway, I look forward to changing my mind and becoming a huge fan of both El Local Británico and Literally A Bull Dempsey.

Best: Scream Of Some Young Kai

Match number two (not to be confused with the promo that came after it, which was Liverpool’s number one) is another effort in the women’s division, this time between Dakota Kai and Killer Kelly.

As you know if you read the NXT Domestic column, Dakota Kai — who is re-edit of North and South Dakota without all the filler — is a New Zealand-born Bayley who is the captain of Team Kick. Team Kick is a lot like the Bálor Club in that it only appears to have one member. She’s great, although her “terrified of anyone doing wrestling moves to her” thing kinda takes away from the general awesomeness of the former Evie. You may recognize Killer Kelly from her awesome opening round match with Meiko Satomura in this year’s Mae Young Classic. Think of her like a Portuguese Sarah Logan, if Sarah Logan hadn’t talked and ruined her whole vibe.

Like Ligero vs. Hammy Callihan, this one’s about a scrappy underdog babyface (Ligero, Kai) getting their ass handed to them by a larger bruiser (Wild Boar, Killer Kelly) before putting together a comeback and winning. I think I would’ve liked these matches more if they hadn’t come back to back, but we’re only two episodes into the show. I think pretty soon they’ll figure out what kind of promotion they want NXT UK to be, which is hopefully something more than “extra NXT.” Not that I have a problem with some extra NXT every week.

Worst: Nipped Tuck

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Match three sees TUCKER, the man and his dream, taking on Good Value Ricochet, Ashton Smith, who I’m affectionately referring to as Stratford-Upon-Maven. This match is mostly here to get me to notice how almost everyone on the show has the same style — I’m fast, but I also know some submission holds, and my strikes are hard! — and how hard the announce team has to work to make them all sound different.

Smith wins with a ripcord DDT, which hurts more because your arm was gently tugged before it happened. Again, I’m happy to warm up to both of these guys, but I didn’t get much of a feel here for who they are or what they do. That said, my number one fantasy booking idea right now is to have Heavy Machinery visit the UK on vacation and accidentally endanger the Queen of England until Tucker saves them. So the Queen knights him, and we build to Knight Tucker vs. Tucker Knight.

Best: Gibson, Offender

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Man, it took me long enough to figure out why everyone was getting out their dicks for Ringkampf, now I’ve got to figure out why people are taking their shoes off if they hate Gibson. I hope he and Matt Riddle battle each other until the end of time.

My first live exposure to Zack Gibson was his NXT UK Championship match against Pete Dunne during the weird next week hour-one NXT TakeOver Brooklyn 4 pre-show episode, and I had two major observations: (1) that Zack Gibson’s NXT name should’ve been “Oney London,” and that (2) he RULES. Like, full-on rules.

That’s not a surprise to … probably any of you reading, as most of the positive feedback from last week included “OH MAN WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR ZACK GIBSON PISS OFF A CROWD,” but here we are. He makes people boo so much with his obnoxious pro wrestler shout-speaking that he has to have his microphone turned up, and he’s making people undress in protest. That’s pretty exceptional. He also gets me invested in a Noam Dar story via an anecdote about Google Image search.

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The segment ends with NXT UK Commissioner Johnny Saint showing up and politely ordering Dar and Gibson into his office to set up a match for next week. Real quick, much love to Johnny Saint, but I can’t stop imagining that he’s just William Regal in old man makeup, like how they do Antonio Cueto on Lucha Underground.

Also, Johnny Saint has at one point in his life had his day accidentally ruined by Paddington Bear, guaranteed.

Eddie Dennis Is VERY UPSET About THINGS

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Eddie Dennis is positioning himself nicely through these interview vignettes as one of those irrational mid-card heels who doesn’t make any sense when you think about it, but are so good at delivering their material that they make you buy it anyway. Miz is like that. Like, 95% of what Miz says is ridiculous if you think about it. Here, Eddie Dennis, a guy who has been on the first two episodes of NXT UK, cuts a promo about how Pete Dunne and Mark Andrews basically stole his spot on their way to being famous wrestlers. You’re good at what you’re doing and all, but bro, second episode. Nobody’s spamming WWE’s phone lines trying to get Mark Andrews a main-event spot at WrestleMania, you’re doing fine. Also you’re 6-foot-6, you’re gonna look like the Great Khali in NXT UK.

Best: Go Away, Batin’

Finally we have our main event, a reminder that the first-ever WWE United Kingdom Champion is a “big strong boi” who happens to be a baby-sized little handsome vegan with thighs so muscular they could crush an entire field of watermelons. Tyler Bate has a singles match against WOLFGANG, who looks like the actual wrestler Wild Boar was pretending to be earlier. Also, pretty sure a wolf gang is called a pack.

Wolfgang runs about six-foot-one, 255, but looks like Drew McIntyre in there against Bate. Of course, that plays to Bate’s strengths; he’s at his best when he’s doing something you thought there was no way in hell someone his size could be doing, so watching him airplane spin a man twice his size or whatever is a treat. He’s like a pocket-sized Cesaro. He’s like the opposite of all those Mike Awesome “high-flying big man” types, where instead of a big man doing dives and splashes, it’s a little guy doing awesome big man shit.

Again, this is less of a purposeful story-progression match and just a chance to reestablish the former UK Champ as a singles threat for an audience happy to receive him. Bate can work in a singles role or as a tag, which is good for the brand, and Wolfgang can go back to his job of being King of Rohan. Good stuff.

Next Week:

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  • Danny Burch arrives and wants to show you his impressive pelvis
  • Zack Gibson takes on Noam Dar, who will be wearing shoes
  • Johnny Saint plans a delightful picnic, but is dismayed to find out it may rain
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