Brandi Chastain is an American sports legend, forever etched into United States sports lore for her penalty kick in the 1999 World Cup. That moment, her striking the ball into the goal and then taking her jersey off in celebration, will always be one of the great moments in American soccer.
Her accomplishments on the pitch go far beyond that one moment she’s best known for, which is why she is being inducted into the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame this year. It’s a big honor for one of the women responsible for bringing women’s soccer to the forefront of the American sports fan’s consciousness, and she is more than deserving of it.
There’s just one problem. The plaque made for Chastain’s enshrinement doesn’t look like her. Like, not in a “I can kind of see it, bronze work is hard” way, but in a “who is that middle-aged man smiling creepily at me” way. Just, look for yourself at this atrocity of sculpting.
Brandi Chastain is one of the most beautiful athletes I’ve ever covered. How this became her plaque is a freaking embarrassment for BASHOF. Makes Cristiano’s look perfect. pic.twitter.com/hta6c0cmSo
— Ann Killion (@annkillion) May 22, 2018
The good news is the plaque is supposedly being redone, which, yeah, it better be. I’m not going to act like making bronze visages of a person is easy, but I refuse to believe a professional can’t do a better job than this. Just look at the side-by-side.
So @annkillion says Brandi Chastain’s plaque for the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame is set to be redone. Which, you know, yes. pic.twitter.com/vdWQLHLv8G
— Subscribe to GrantWahl.com (@GrantWahl) May 22, 2018
While an update may be on the way, the original is getting the fate it deserves: an merciless Twitter roast where everyone plays “Who that look like” with the bronze plaque that most definitely doesn’t look like Chastain. Here is just a sampling of the tremendous work from late night/early morning sports Twitter.
https://twitter.com/Juanito_Manziel/status/998914661205540870
— Joel Muad'dib (@SpookaDoncic) May 22, 2018
Somebody should demand their money back for this God-awful depiction of Brandi Chastain. At first glance, I honestly thought it was Babe Ruth. https://t.co/Fuuu8ULU6X
— Juliet Macur (@JulietMacur) May 22, 2018
— Trill Withers (@TylerIAm) May 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/Nick_Petrini/status/998916151437676545
— Anthony Delmolino (@delmolino24) May 22, 2018
@TylerIAm that’s Peter King pic.twitter.com/5vQgIOjPdW
— Kev Rich (@kevantrich) May 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/AbeBroman/status/998918487404924928
that looks like Jonathan Winters https://t.co/QNY9D1fgLZ
— Roy Bellamy (@roybelly) May 22, 2018
Congrats Jerry Clower pic.twitter.com/Zi4nGvzmbj
— Bunkie Perkins (@BunkiePerkins) May 22, 2018
Got Brandi Chastain lookin like Mike Francesa pic.twitter.com/eNZffjG2oS
— Robby Kalland (@RKalland) May 22, 2018
— Zac Jackson (@AkronJackson) May 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/MeetMeAtTapps/status/998920291756707841
Gary Busey just sat in a puddle of spilled pickle relish while immersing himself in the role of Jimmy Carter-ass-plaque https://t.co/AwBAlJeDxt
— Rush Roberts (@DrNorrisCamacho) May 22, 2018