SAN FRANCISCO – Who watches big sporting events from a gentleman’s club? It’s a question I’ve asked myself a bunch of times, but never felt apt to follow up on before. You’ll always see fliers at bars, or passed out on the street, and if you’re handed one, you typically just toss it right into the next trashcan you see and go about your day. Promises of a free shuttle or no cover or a complimentary buffet aren’t enticing enough to ditch previous plans and opt instead for the windowless darkness that the club provides.
People do go, though, otherwise the venues wouldn’t bother opening in the first place. And enough people go to justify the printing cost of said fliers and the promotions. And I thought about all this walking down Howard Street in San Francisco the week of the Super Bowl because I didn’t have a credential or a ticket to the game, and these are the things I think about instead of whether a football player should say more words in a press conference or fall on a fumble. I used to want to write about sports more than anything in the world; now I just want to write about people. And because people work at, and go to strip clubs, and I’d already spent way more time asking myself these questions than I probably should have on what was otherwise a beautiful day in the Bay Area, I decided to do something I’d never done before: Watch a major sporting event from a gentleman’s club. Here’s how that went.
1. It’s really not that bad.
Spare the “well, it’s naked ladies and football, of course it’s not that bad” lines. This wasn’t how I expected to spend my Super Bowl 50. And I had a sense of dread in the first place going in there in the middle of the day while, just a block over, the NFL Experience was leering at me. Even after I told my editor this was what I was going to do, and he responded with a “love this idea,” I still almost backed out. There was a manageable $10 cover to justify the buffet and the unoccupied, comfortable chair I’d spend the next four hours in, and the guy at the door was wearing an Eric Reid jersey.
“There are worse places to watch the game, am I right?” he asked.
And I really didn’t know how to answer. This was exactly what I was trying to find out.
“You’re in our house,” one performer named Sophie tells me. “Just try and have a good time.”
Think about the best Super Bowl party you’ve ever been to. Now think of the worst one. Those are pretty easy, right? Now try to think about everything in between. It’s pretty hard. Games and moments don’t really stand out as much as they bleed together into one big brand-filled haze. They’re all kind of the same. You ate, you talked, you watched commercials, you cheered at something, you went home.
By those measures, this fit right in. This was not the worst or best Super Bowl experience I ever had. It was certainly different, but it was just another game (even if it was the “Golden Game”). There were plenty of TVs. It wasn’t overly crowded. People were generally nice. Nobody got kicked out for being obnoxious. The sound wasn’t too quiet or too loud. It was fine.
2. The buffet was actually pretty good.
Here’s where I was leery until one of the performers explained how this particular club operates. Nadia told me she typically works some shifts Monday through Friday during the day, and with the location of the Gold Club, they get a lot of lunch traffic and a bunch of regulars who come in specifically during that time. The buffet is a staple for this part of town, and it gets crowded (even more crowded than it was during the Super Bowl). And while it seems strange to eat at a gentleman’s club, once I saw pretty much everyone grabbing plates, including the bartenders, the DJ, and some of the dancers, I figured this was a “When in Rome” type situation (the phrase, not the Kristen Bell movie) and walked over to the line.
They went with a Carolina-themed spread, including pulled pork, mac and cheese, baked beans, coleslaw, biscuits, and red-velvet cupcakes. Everything was better than average, and the cupcakes were great. Like if I dressed it up behind a display case and charged you $3.50 for one, you wouldn’t be surprised about it great. I saw someone go up, get a plate of food and one cupcake, and return to get a second plate with four cupcakes on it.
One guy at a table over from me even instagrammed his plate. You really do see something new every day.
3. There was a surprisingly good energy in the building.
You could tell the Gold Club took events like this seriously. For one, there was no pounding music during the game or even the commercial breaks. The only time there were any stage dances was during halftime, when the DJ told everyone “if you wanted to listen to Coldplay, you should’ve DVR’d it.”
The DJ then played Coldplay, and Bruno Mars, and Beyoncé anyway while he announced Claudia to the stage.
The place wasn’t packed, but it was full. And there were all kinds of people in there. You had the two dudes (one had a gigantic championship ring of some sort on) who had money on the Broncos and were there to hang. They barely interacted with anyone else other than their server, and one of the two actually facetimed his girlfriend or wife – who at one point panned over to a sleeping child on the bed next to her – and somehow this seemed completely normal in the moment. Two guys brought their girlfriends, and they occupied a booth relatively close to the stage. They picked up the food menu right away before being told about the buffet, and everyone seemed to have fun.
I texted a friend about this, and she remarked that she felt there were three kinds of mindsets when it comes to girlfriends and strip clubs:
- Women who under no circumstances would enter one, or want their boyfriends to go to one
- Those who would go reluctantly to seem chill, and would most likely go in a big group or for an event like the Super Bowl
- The group that is 100 percent okay with it, and enjoys them
These two seemed to fit into the second group. It was something to do and an experience, and I’m sure the two guys jokingly suggested, “hey, free buffet, let’s do it,” and they said, “sure.” I didn’t get the chance to ask them about it before the game ended, but I’m sure they agreed this wasn’t the best or worst Super Bowl party they had ever been to. People were into the game, they laughed at the commercials, and they admired Lady Gaga’s anthem performance. It was like most Super Bowl parties (except with less clothing).
4. You couldn’t pay me to watch a fight there, though.
Here’s where Nadia was extremely helpful. She mentioned how chill it seemed in the room, how everyone had a place to sit, the girls were having fun, nobody was pushy one way or the other, and it was still possible to make some money. This was the first Super Bowl she’d worked, and it was completely different from, say, the Pacquiao-Mayweather fight.
“Whenever we have fights, it’s crazy,” she said. “They get packed upstairs and downstairs. But I’m loving this vibe. It’s a good crowd. Everyone just seems like they’re here to have fun, and we get to watch the game.”
There seemed to be an unspoken agreement between everybody not to be overly aggressive one way or the other. Dancers stopped by to chat, but if you were into the game, they politely moved on. One group with a lot of money to spend had about four performers with them and got a few table dances and a lot of shots, but even they weren’t all that rowdy. Even the creepy regular opted to give a foot rub to his favorite dancer in a corner booth in the back away from everyone.
I can’t imagine it’s that way when a UFC fight is happening. I can’t even watch UFC fights in normal bars without wanting to get as far away from the crowd as possible. People can act like real morons during UFC fights.
5. This experience was completely on brand for the NFL.
Not that the NFL is out here officially licensing or partnering with gentleman’s clubs or anything, but it’s not as if this was any different from a typical NFL-related experience. The club sold Bud Light aluminum pints with the Super Bowl 50 logo on them for $9.50, cheaper than inside Super Bowl City or at the game itself. There were Panthers and Broncos logos strewn throughout. Two dudes wore Joe Montana jerseys. All the performers were talking about the game in some capacity. When the MVPs were paraded out onto the field, one woman – who was on stage collecting her singles from the last dance before the DJ kicked the sound on for pregame – cheered aggressively for Eli Manning. Everyone seemed to laugh at the Skittles ad with Steven Tyler.
The entirety of the NFL’s lead up to and broadcast of Super Bowl 50 was a study in excess. It was a walking, breathing soundstage set against a backdrop that wasn’t real at all. The game was held in Santa Clara, but everyone had their setups near the Golden Gate bridge, or at Fisherman’s Wharf, or between B-roll shots of cable cars and the Full House house. Nothing about the NFL is real, not the feigned attempts at player safety or the general idea that the NFL is family when it comes to the fans. The NFL cares about one thing – making money – and in that way, it’s going to do anything it can to make that money, whether it’s by price gouging or trying to make you feel special (oh my god I just met Drew Brees!). Even the VIP experience is a way to make even more money in a quicker span. There’s no true attempt to hide this.
“It’s all a big sham,” Nadia says. “And so many people try to pretend it isn’t. Guys get so mad at me when I even try to suggest it to them. They don’t want to hear it. They just want to drink their beer and enjoy the fantasy.”
