It was 15 years ago this week that HBO launched Curb Your Enthusiasm, following a successful one-hour special a year earlier about Larry David’s fictional return to the stand-up stage. While the series introduced a variety of characters and guest stars with many celebrities appearing as fictionalized versions of themselves, no character has been louder or angrier than Susie Greene.
Susie Greene is a professional when it comes to spewing out curse word-laden rants, and 80% of the time they’re directed at Larry. (Though her husband does take his fair share of verbal abuse.) “A**hole,” “Dumb F**k,”Four-eyed F**k,” they’re all part of Susie’s arsenal when dealing with Larry David and she wields them with ruthless precision.
No one knows when we’ll get new episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm (though, the existing ones can all be streamed on HBO NOW), so, in the meantime let’s look back at the bitter relationship between these two social misfits.
Larry decapitates Sammie’s doll, Judy.
Larry isn’t the greatest with kids, and when he ruins a child’s doll by cutting off its hair he finds himself in serious trouble. Foolishly, Jeff goes along with Larry’s plan to steal a doll’s head fro Sammie’s collection and replace it with another, but it’s not long before Susie discovers what they’re up to and all Hell breaks loose. The stream of vitriol she unleashes on them in the driveway would scare even the most ruthless of mob bosses.
Susie calls Larry out for getting Sammie drunk.
Most adults wouldn’t steal a kid’s dog once, let alone twice, but most adults aren’t Larry David. And like I said, he’s just not good with kids. While Larry’s over at Jeff’s house to convince Sammie to get rid of the dog that’s bothering her dad’s allergies, he inadvertently gets her drunk… and then steals her dog. So not only is Susie pissed at Larry for getting her kid drunk, but she accuses him of stealing the dog for animal testing. Wisely, Larry calmly gets back in his car and leaves like the “sicko, f**ko a**hole” that he is.
Larry turns down Susie’s house tour.
What makes Larry and Susie’s relationship all the more hilarious is that they normally start off exchanging pleasantries before wishing death upon each other in a matter of seconds. In one of the show’s best episodes, “Krazee-Eyez Killa” we get a perfect example of this when Larry politely turns down a tour of Susie and Jeff’s new house. All Jeff can do is stand their with a dopey look on his face and watch as Susie chastises Larry for rejecting their house tour like a “freak of f**king nature.”
Susie doesn’t think Larry saved her life.
This is one of the rare moments where Larry doesn’t do something to cause Susie distress, but instead actually does something nice for her. Unfortunately, it comes back to bite him in the ass because Susie can’t bring herself to actually admit that Larry sort of saved her life which sends Larry into a tantrum. The heated scene ends with Larry mocking Susie “you got a little spot on your forehead, don’t get it checked out” before being thrown out of her house for probably the hundredth time.
Larry ruins the tooth fairy for Sammie.
Larry is a crusher of children’s dreams and it’s almost certain that Sammie will be an anxious mess of an adult because of her mother’s relationship with Larry. This episode is similar to “The Pie” episode of Seinfeld with George’s swooshing pants, but this time the culprit is Larry’s squeaky shoes, which causes Sammie to wake up and discover her mother is the tooth fairy. In Larry’s defense, the kid was going to find out that there is no tooth fairy eventually.
Larry botches Sammies school interview.
Yet again, we have another example of Larry meddling in Susie’s life and chipping away at Sammie’s chance of becoming a normal adult. After stealing a stolen bouquet of memorial flowers from the school administrator, Larry ruins Sammie’s chance of acceptance into the school. It’s one of the rare times we see Jeff get visually angry at Larry as well, not so much because he’s upset about his daughter, but because has to live with the human volcano that is his wife. The scene includes one of Susie’s best lines “Just knowing you is a liability,” which couldn’t be more spot-on regarding Larry.
Larry asks Susie if she respects wood.
Larry doesn’t respect people’s boundaries, but wood… that the guy respects. After watching Susie not use a coaster and leave a ring on a friend’s antique table, he questions her respect of wood. That’s all it takes for Susie to fly into a rage and threaten Larry with physical violence. After Susie ask Larry to leave by telling him to “get the f**k out of here” he casually walks over to inspect her own coffee table for ring stains. Definitely a cocky move on Larry’s part and one that could have easily led to Susie actually showing Larry just how much she respects wood.
Loretta comes to Larry’s defense.
Larry has few defenders, but after he and Loretta get together in seasons six, Susie Greene is no longer a threat. The “Bat Mitzvah” episode ends beautifully with Larry answering the door to a screaming Susie who becomes totally dumbfounded and speechless when Loretta appears and stands up for “her man” with Larry smiling and waving Susie off.
