MONDAY
JAN: … and that’s why the engine light was on. I felt so stupid.
STEVE: Wow.
JAN: Anyway, what do you guys wanna do for lunch?
WENDY: Ooo, let’s get Wendy’s!
PETE: Yeah, that’s sounds okay.
JAN: Works for me.
STEVE: Yup, unanimous.
TUESDAY
PETE: … busted with 7,000 stolen bananas in his trunk.
JAN: That’s a lot of bananas.
STEVE: Hey, speaking of food, what are you guys thinking for lunch? Maybe Panera?
WENDY: Ooo, let’s get Wendy’s!
JAN: But… we just had Wendy’s yesterday.
WENDY: Right.
JAN: And you want it again?
WENDY: Uh huh.
JAN: O… kay. I guess we can. Guys?
PETE: Sure.
STEVE: Yeah, okay.
WEDNESDAY
JAN: I’m just saying, it’s weird, right?
STEVE: Definitely weird.
JAN: I mean, she didn’t even eat there until Pete told her she looked a little like that Wendy. Then two days later she dyed her hair red and now it’s a thing.
PETE: I was just being nice.
STEVE: Yeah, super weird.
JAN: If she tries to make us get Wendy’s again today I’m definitely gonna say somethi…
WENDY: [skips in carrying five bags and a car carrier filled with Frostys] Good news, guys! Wendy’s has a new cod fish fillet sandwich! I got us each one for lunch!
STEVE: Uh, it’s 11:05.
WENDY: I know! I was waiting in the parking lot for them to open since 10:30! Wanted to get those first fillets!
[Jan, Steve, and Pete all look at each other with concern in their eyes]
THURSDAY
STEVE: … and I said there’s no way a dog could fly a helicopter. It’s why we got divorced.
JAN: So sad.
WENDY: Hey, what do you guys want from Wendy’s today? A salad, maybe? Wendy’s uses only the freshest ingredients, you know.
JAN: I brought something from home, actually.
PETE: Me, too.
STEVE: Yup, same.
WENDY: Oh.
FRIDAY
PETE: … and it turned out they weren’t stolen after all. Guess he just really likes bananas.
STEVE: Huh.
JAN: Hey, do you guys hear that? It sounds like… crying.
PETE: Yeah, and it sounds like it’s coming from Wendy’s office.
[Jan, Pete, and Steve head over to Wendy’s office, where they find her sobbing into a cup of Wendy’s chili]
STEVE: Oh no, Wendy, what’s the matter?
WENDY: [sniffling loudly between words] I… just… wanted… everyone… to… be… happy.
JAN: Aw, what do you mean?
WENDY: I… just… wanted… you guys… to… be… happy… and eat… eat delicious fresh, never frozen products from… Wendy’s…
JAN, PETE, AND STEVE: …
WENDY: … but then you went and brought food from home and nobody… [sniffles] … nobody ate Wendy’s.
PETE: But it was only one day. And we got food from there three days in a row. We just don’t want to eat there every day, that’s all.
WENDY: [begins sobbing uncontrollably, her salty tears dripping into her chili and raising its sodium content to 85 percent of the recommended daily amount]
STEVE: If… if we get Wendy’s today, will you stop crying?
WENDY: You… guys… want… Wendy’s?
JAN: Sure, we can get Wendy’s today.
WENDY: Yay!
[Wendy pulls out a bag filled with cups of Wendy’s chili from under her desk]
