Here’s the number one rule of Tinder: Never let someone else use your account. My friends learned that after I’d sent their matches texts like “I’ve been so lonely since the accident” (unfortunately ending love affairs before they even had a chance to Netflix & Chill) and a young woman named Andrea learned it after Amy Schumer took her phone and started swiping on dudes she thought Andrea might like.
Schumer says it’s her first time on Tinder, but she’s got some pretty good sense when it comes to choosing dues that Andrea should and shouldn’t match with. She immediately rejects a man who’s got a guitar and might be lying about his age (a guitar is a huge red flag, Schumer says), and swipes left on another dude just for being named Niall. Way harsh, Tai! (She’s got a good point about rejecting dudes who don’t wear shirts in their profile photos, though! Auto-reject!)
It really gets good when Schumer starts making matches and showing off both her mad typing and wooing skills. “James, sup” she writes to one potential suitor before threatening to send him a message about “letting a sister sip on his D.” She rejects another man for being a comedian (#fair), lets a man named rob know that she doesn’t like his gym selfie (as a “34-year-old woman not wearing a bra and with sweat falling to her hips”) and asks a man named Thomas to “light Andrea’s fiya,” to which he responds to with a solid yes. Could he be the one?
It’s a fun video, but the real standout is Andrea’s group text, which is a saga of several women trying to get together to go to the gym and possibly dinner afterwards? Loved watching Schumer take over a stranger’s Tinder, but I’d really love her to take on a stranger’s group text next. That cesspool of scheduling conflicts is where she’d really shine.
