With 2010’s spinning momentum finally over and done with, if you’re anything like me, around this time of year you probably find yourself panicked, trying to figure out a decent way to start your new year off. I mean, sure you could easily spend your time jump starting one of those resolutions you promised, but we all realize that’s no way for a wild tiger, such as yourself, to pass the time. Well thank heavens for this 2010 compilation of the greatest internet mashups and most popular supercuts from the year past. Oh hell, wouldn’t you know we threw in a couple old favorites too, just to spoil you.
So sit back, relax,
unbutton those acid washed jean shorts click, surf and enjoy our 2010 choice cuts with a healthy side of premium mash.
270 Movies in Six Minutes
There’s nothing quite like taking in 270 of last year’s most popular movies and mashing them into one giant, six minute orgy. Not only are the musical cues hipstery yet still somehow catchy, this menagerie actually makes the fart bomb movies look way better than they actually were. Hell, I think I even saw a Kathrine Heigl flick in the mix there and, wouldn’t you know it, my penis didn’t instinctively shrivel up and die.
Nic Cage Losing His Sh*t
F**k me, I realize that there’s no taking this back after I say this, but let it be known that Nicolas
Coppola Cage scares the living sh*t out of me is an amazing actor. His ability to adapt and portray batsh*t crazy people subtle characters is rivaled by none. I pray to God that Nic Cage never reads this, because he would probably track me down and kill me has many more films to come.
*frantically checks over both shoulders*
Blah, Blah, Blah
Believe it or not, a lot of movies use the phrase “blah, blah, blah” in them. Coincidently enough, within a movie is the only actual place that a person can say the words “blah, blah, blah”, in a sentence, without getting socked in the ear.
Stanley Kubrick vs Martin Scorsese
A very cool mashup, though you have to admit that it’s kinda’ hard to eff up a montage of Kubrick footage mixed with shots from Scorsese films; it’s a common ground for film geeks, douche bags and aspiring film geeks alike. Yeah bro, I realize that you dressed up as A Clockwork Orange for Halloween…so did Christina Aguilera.
Every Arnold Scream From Every Arnold Movie
If I really need to explain why seven and a half minutes worth of Arnold Schwarzenegger hollering is pertinent to your health, than maybe you should start looking for a new pediatrician. Complements of those big meat swingers over at FilmDrunk, behold a collection of the very moans and groans that built one of Hollywood’s most
unintelligible inspiring superstars.
Not in Kansas Anymore
I’m still patiently awaiting the most ironic moment of my life: when I get so piss drunk that I actually wake up in Kansas.
He Didn’t Make It
I’m presently seeking legal action to officially change the phrase “he didn’t make it” to “I guess he just didn’t try hard enough”. For starters, it would make next year’s batch of supercuts that much more enjoyable, plus hospitals would get a kick out of it too, I think. Yup, don’t mind me, I’m just here to help.
Wasted in Movies
Let it be known that watching other people get wasted is a lot easier and less painful on your kidneys. Though on the contrary, somebody else’s vomit does taste way worse when it’s inside your own mouth.
You Look Like Sh*t
Now I’ve never had to deal with this situation personally, but, I guess that, sometimes people don’t look very sexy in their own skin. For all of those who can identify, this next batch is for you guys (mother, I’m looking right at you).
Nut Shots in Movie Trailers
Vince, over at FilmDrunk, once said that if there’s a nut shot in a movie’s trailer, you can practically guarantee that the movie will suck sh*t. I’m
quoting accurately paraphrasing, of course -though keep in mind, Vince also once told me that blogging was a surefire way to bang hot chicks (and we all know how that’s turned out).
Extra points for the included Rotten Tomatoes ratings.
Famous Last Words
I’ve already come to peace with the fact that the final English words to tumble out of my elderly, decrepit dying mouth will be, “I almost forgot to tell you where the treasure is buried…” as I punch my own timecard and clock out. I just hope my family appreciates the carefully chosen words as much as I do.
Julianne Moore Loves To Cry
Is it wrong to admit that I think Julianne Moore looks hottest when she is crying uncontrollably? And is it additionally wrong to admit that the word “topless” was very close to being used in place of the word “crying”?
20 Classic Movie Farts in 2 Minutes
When it comes to things entering or exiting through the butt, it’s hard to find anyone else with more experience than FilmDrunk. For today’s lesson, class, please open your textbooks to 120 Seconds of Air Exiting Anuses.
The Mirror Scare
My most horrifying moments, in front of the mirror, usually occur following the discovery of a whitehead and/or the realization that my deodorant stick has run dry. I suppose from that low of a starting point things can only get better for me?
Jackie Chan Hates Karate Kids
Awesome comes in all shapes and sizes. Today’s delivery order consists of Jackie Chan beating up a ton of children. Yeah, I know, it’s f**king awesome.
Get Out of There!
Four simple words and yet its resonance is still universally applicable. So genius in its simplicity and effectiveness, I can’t even begin to count the times in my life that I wish someone would have screamed these words at me. Specifically I’m recalling the time I went to Hawaii with Brooke Shields.
F*ck You Compilation
Sometimes it’s simply a matter of blowing off some steam, while on other occasions it’s the result of honest and unbridled self expression. Whatever your reason may be, please do your part and find time this Holiday Season to say, “f*ck you” at someone you care about.
We’ve Got Company
I haven’t had company over to my place since forever ago. Actually, on second thought, that’s not true: I did get bed bugs earlier this year. Not nearly as much fun as everyone said new friends would be, but I’m
desperate and creepy grateful nonetheless.
160 Greatest Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes
How many times already has Arnold been on this list? When you’re universally respected for both your ability to scream incoherently and deliver inconsistently paced dialogue, I think that says something about a person. It says, “hey, that guy might be crazy!?”
Full Metal Disney
If I could learn how to do the Donald Duck voice, I swear that I’d be a millionaire in just a few short months…but I can’t, so I won’t. I guess I’ll just leave it for the professionals to drop Disney-esque delightfulness all over Full Metal Jacket footage without me.
I Could Tell You, But Then I’d Have To Kill You
Fingers crossed, someday I’ll get to know a vital piece of information which will allow me to bid fair warning to anyone who wants to know its secrets. For the meantime, I’ll just have to continue waiting anxiously for someone to ask me a question pertaining to Glee trivia.
80’s Bully Compilation
I once got my ass handed to me in the 1st grade, but that was less than twenty years ago, back in the early 90s. I’d imagine getting beat down in the 1980s was probably exactly the same, just with more guitar swells and cooler looking sunglasses.
AC/DC vs Ghostbusters
If you ever run into me at the local gym and notice that I’m just sort of dancing by myself in the corner, sweating uncontrollably and listening to my iPod -may God help you if you disturb me. Nine out of ten times, with that determined look across my brow, I’ll no doubt be listening to this mashup.
Saw 3D with Justin Bieber
Look, I’m not wishing the kid any harm, it’s just that -well, he’s a dangerous individual with really cute hair. That’s a killer combination!
*sunglasses lower over eyes, points finger gun and clicks thumb*
Morpheus Explains The Matrix to The Dude
There’s good and then there’s super good. The following doesn’t fall into either of those first two categories, because OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS HOLY SH*T !!!111!11!!1!!!
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Inception
If letting Keanu Reeves run amok, inside of my memory, is the only way to make it possible for me to hang out in front of a Circle K again, than just show me where to sign on the contract and consider me smitten.
Mel Gibson vs Christian Bale
Oh internet, you rule. Again, a super simple and yet very effective concept. It enrages me to think that I could have thought this up idea up, had I just not been so busy with FarmVille.
4 Minutes of Action Movie Visual Clichés
What?! You’re telling me that there’s absolutely no super obvious, androgynous wink followed by a romantically blown kiss? And here I thought they said “action movie”.
The Ultimate 2010 Summer Movie Trailer
Can’t decide on your favorite movie trailer from this past summer? Oh, don’t you worry about it, you’re not the only one rejoicing over indecisiveness right now. Can’t pick a favorite? Just take all your trailers at once. That’s what I do with my prescriptions.
Rick Astley vs The Human Centipede
Granted, I get excited just Rickrolling myself, but drop Mr. Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” over the trailer for The Human Centipede and I think you can smell that hit from a mile away. At least, I pray that’s a hit we’re all smelling…I think that’s what it is. Actually, on second thought, what the hell is that smell?!?!
Iron Man & AC/DC vs Dirty Dancing
Is it strange to find yourself jealous of a CGI Iron Man, flirting his chest plate off, with the late Patrick Swayze (RIP)? Oh whatever, I don’t care if you judge me, so long as I can silently keep hope alive that someday someone will rescue me from my own
Rad Times Compilation
And just to end on a positive note, let us all hail the radness of being radical and tip our hats to the good times to come.
Here’s to the future supercuts and mashups of 2011…and your mom.