Back in 2012, the fine, mustachioed folks of the American Mustache Institute made one of the most difficult decisions that they could ever conceivably make – they revoked Keith Hernandez’s status as the Greatest Sports Mustache of All-Time. The reason? Hernandez had shaved off his trademark flavor saver, and that obviously didn’t sit well with the facial hair decision-makers. At the time, it was decided that the title would either be handed over to Hernandez’s runner-up, Rollie Fingers, who some would have argued deserved it more all along, or the AMI would simply hold a new vote.
“His title will either be given to runner-up Rollie Fingers, an athlete and role model who has never turned his back on the Mustache American community, or we Keith’s actions may necessitate revisiting the voting effort altogether,” Dr. Andrew Perlut wrote at the time. “Regardless, we are deeply disappointed in Hernandez and feel we have to take this action.”
I’m sure that “disappointed” doesn’t even begin to do such a deep emotion justice. Two years later, though, it seems that the AMI has made its decision. Last week, the institute announced that it had teamed with a real-time sports fan opinion app called SportsCstr to allow us Average Joes, with and without mustaches alike, to select the new Greatest Sports Mustache. SportsCstr is full of hot sprots taeks that fans offer each other, including “Should Donald Sterling’s wife be able to keep the Clippers?” (the people say no!) and “Who’s your early pick favorite for NFL Rookie of the Year?” (the people say it’s someone who hasn’t played yet!).
But the Greatest Sports Mustache? This is far more important. Especially since Hulk Hogan has been running the lead ahead of Lanny McDonald and Fingers in this latest competition.
While I can admit that the Hulkster’s mustache is quite iconic, I’m just not quite ready to have this portrait hanging in the halls of immortality just yet.