A Newspaper Made An Unintentionally Hilarious Masturbatory Headline About Myles Jack

10.06.16 2 weeks ago • 2 Comments

Look at that headline. Look at it. It’s shameful and I was against posting it on here, a family web site. However, I lost that battle and will instead write a very straightforward preview of Sunday’s game between the Jacksonville Jaguars and Chicago Bears.

Is Jacksonville on a bye this week? Yes, but there will be no Jag off in Week 6. They play the Bears and it’s important for the Jaguars to get linebacker Myles Jack off to a great start. He’s going to want to come right through the middle whenever he can, but that may be playing right into the hands of the Bears.

The Jaguars will face Brian Hoyer, who is relatively well known for his ability to pump fake defenders. You could call him a master baiter in this regard. You can’t get him to talk about himself, though, as he’s not one to participate in self-love.

The key to the game will be for the Bears’ offensive line to go hat-on-hat, to rub out everything that’s in their way. It won’t be easy, and it will require the Bears’ coaching staff to come up with a stroke of genius.

Who will grab hold of this game and crank out a victory? Will someone choke like chickens? Either way, the cream will eventually rise to the top.

(Twitter via Florida Times-Union)

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