The Navy Is Launching Trucks Off An Aircraft Carrier And It Should Be An Olympic Sport

Senior Editor, Sports
02.05.17 4 Comments

What do you do when you need to test the jet launching mechanism on an aircraft carrier, but don’t want to put multi-million dollar planes at risk?

Simple, you launch trucks into the ocean and accidentally create an incredibly awesome new sport. Truck launching absolutely belongs in the Olympics. Each country brings an aircraft carrier and tries to fling large vehicles into the ocean. What could possibly go wrong?

Think of it as a sort of military track and field event. Like the shot put or javelin, but way more metal. Or, if you want to require it to be more about precision, put targets in the water and make it truck archery.

I don’t care how you do it, I just want this to be embraced as a sport. I want Bob Costas introducing the prime time Olympic schedule as “the men’s 100 and 200 meter freestyles, women’s beach volleyball and aircraft carrier truck launching.” Put Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski on the call and call it a day.

If for some reason we can’t get it in the Olympics (which, hell, they put power walking in the Olympics) make it into an event like Red Bull’s Flugtag, but with a Northrop Grumman twist.

Truck launching/shot put/javelin/archery is our next great sport, and the United States is already preparing to dominate the podium for years.

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