Nerf decided to kick things up to the next level with the new Rival Khaos fully automatic gun and everyone, promptly, lost their minds over the badass design and the fact that it fires Nerf projectiles at a speed of 68 mph.
Clearly, this new development led many to ponder what other methods of destruction Nerf should create next. But while many look to the other automatic weapons of our modern age, what if Nerf took a step back to a less civilized time? Things can get savage in Nerf battles, so why not develop Nerf weapons that let you unleash your inner berserker? Let’s take a stroll through the battlefields of history to find the proper accoutrements for our spongey armory.
The Scottish Claymore
Let’s get the big kahuna out of the way. Sure, Nerf has made swords before, but nothing quite like the claymore. Who wouldn’t want to paint their faces blue and beat down some English douchebags with the Nerf cousin of these bruisers? The 3-D printing specs are online, so make it happen, Nerf.
The Man Catcher
This horrifying contraption became popular in Europe in the medieval period, and was used until the 1800s. If your Nerf battles include taking prisoners, this collar could be an invaluable resource. However, that punk Wesley who always takes things a little too far every single time would probably abuse the power of the man catcher, so it might be for the best that this one stays back in the Middle Ages where it belongs.
The Lantern Shield
This Swiss Army Knife of bad news was born out of the Renaissance, combining gauntlet, shield, and stabbing mechanism all in one! A lot of medieval weapons were more focused on hand to hand combat, which may put you at a disadvantage against your Nerf gun toting brethren, but a shield wouldn’t be a bad thing to utilize. I mean, if Captain America can make a shield cool, why can’t you? Plus, so many sword angles, so little time.
The Morning Star
The Morning Star was also called “the holy water sprinkler,” so surely there’s a way to turn that into an awesome name for your Fantasy Football team. Either way, this spiked mace would be a totally rad Nerf weapon that would easily help you win the day. If you can’t imagine swinging one of these bad boys above your head as you shout your battle cry at your opponents, why are you even reading this in the first place?
The Hunga Munga
This South African curved knife was thrown like an extra deadly boomerang and was effective for close range fighting, as well. This would definitely be a less traditional weapon to bring to a Nerf fight, but it would easily make you look like the biggest badass. While it would probably take some practice (and a smashed lamp or two) to get the hang of throwing it, the acquired skill would get you major points.
